this is @aaliisarah - i only met her in person for the first time in july but it feels like she's been an irritating presence in my life for years. but really - she's mostly cool (& she knows it) and also she woke up early for me yesterday and took me around Birmingham and showed me a lift that sings and a piano played by water - @ikongallery - so i guess she's alright.
current mood: mad about how i went to canada **before** i became friends with almost all of the canadian people i know now /#hawwaexplores
life is exhausting and i just want to sleep for days and sometimes i feel numb and empty and other times my mind won't switch off and i overthink everything but. Alhamdulillah. for everything. 📸: polaroid by one of my favourite people who always brightens up my day no matter how tired and stressed i am @ono_nurul
i need some sleep pls & thank you. #hawwajournals
a brief contextualisation of thoughts: i hope these guys don't realise they're in my photos / the reflections are beautiful / is the water cold / please don't look at me i want to frame this shot properly / my hands are frozen / i wish i could just dive in right now / if that bird flies at me i'll scream / do i even have the right settings on my camera? #hawwaexplores
i need recommendations of buildings to illustrate / #artbyhawwa
sultanahmet, istanbul / #hawwaexplores
i don't know where i'm going. but i guess that's okay? sometimes my head spins and i don't feel like i'm grounded and maybe i might fall over. that's probably not okay. i probably need to take a break. but how can i stop until i've reached my goal, that's not like me. and if i don't know where i'm truly going then that means i don't have a goal. so then i guess my first goal is to find where i want to be going. but if i'm still searching then that means i'm never going to take a break because i'm not even close to reaching my goal which means i'm probably going to fall over soon. & that's okay in my head because i know i'll just get up. but people keep reminding me that you should rest and hawwa get some sleep and i do, i mean i'm not a machine. i sleep. i eat. i procrastinate a lot even if my friends don't believe i do. yesterday i realised that i don't rest even when i'm not doing anything. i even walk fast so i can get to the next place i need to be at sooner. and i hate being late to anything. i honestly really need a time-turner. it feels like the day chases after me to catch up, i don't run after it. / a few random thoughts i wrote down one night on the bus on the way home, which i just found in my notes on my phone. i don't even remember writing it, but i was probably exhausted and delirious, of course.