Our mate @kminall booked out an entire school camp for his 30th. @alexgiven and I have come as the P.E. department. My thighs are also available for photographers and videographers to do their white balance off of.
Hello Perth! Surprise! Because it's the festive season and we are a couple of massive ho ho ho's (bet nobody has ever used that gag before), @janellekoenig and I have decided to throw a little Christmas show in our hometown to try some new material, dust off some old material and tell you a couple of filthy, festive stories. Tickets are only $22 including all booking fees and are super limited... when I say book now I mean, like, do it right now as it's only a small venue. Tag your Perth mates and come along! Also it's on Sunday December 23rd at 6pm... what better time to escape the fun and torture of being home with your family over the holiday season?! (we're doing the exact same thing... hence the show). Tickets from @comedyloungewa
On a big night out at Poof Doof this lady I’d never met in my life approached me (somewhere around 4am) and asked for a photo and unashamedly told me she thought I was funny. She immediately had my full attention, naturally, and we have been besties ever since. Happy Birthday Marita, you gorgeous, hilarious human. ❤️
Lots of people asking where Take Me Out is/ has been? Well, we decided we wanted to go out with a bang and randomly drop the season finale during the last week of ratings for 2018! Surprise! (FYI this is all showbiz lingo for “to be completely honest I’m not actually sure where it has been”). Anywho - tag your trash TV loving friends, ice the fruity lexia and shove some toothpicks into anything resembling cheese and/ or meat... it’s party time! Season finale of Take Me Out is 730pm tonight on 7! Also for all the behind the scenes goss (lol who says goss anyway) come see me live on stage. Tickets available from link in bio RIGHT NOW. They’d make the perfect Christmas gift for someone you love. Or hate.
Oh my lordddd. This just happened! When I used to work a promo job I would always get told off for pointing in photos. But in all honesty the point was always just a cover for how nervous I was. And lo and behold the pointing finger just magically reappeared during a photo with one of my idols. Just had the privilege of seeing Catherine Tate live and god damn she was brilliant. I laughed so hard. I’m going to bed a very happy man/ comedian/ human being.
A very important message from your humble court jester and Australia’s snake QWEEN of comedy. My new tour ‘DRINK. SLAY. REPEAT.’ is on sale in Melbourne, Sydney, Perth, Adelaide & Brisbane today! There are so many naughty stories that I could never tell on TV. Come see me live for all the real juice. And shiiit do I have some deliciousness for you. It’ll be VICIOUS. Ticket link in my bio.i
Had the pleasure of hosting the Ronald McDonald House Charities Ball beside my darling @myfwarhurst last night in Perth. I think it’s the first time they’ve heard “you’re all fucking loaded so dig deep, assholes” and “cough up, bitch” on stage. I always make things such a high brow affair. Incredible night and so much money raised! Feeling very Angelia Jolie/ Bono-esque today.
My beautiful grandma (Nan to us), Muriel, passed away last weekend and we just had the funeral. She loved a laugh and loved a wine. So we tried our best to crack a few gags at the service and now we are going to give it our best and crack a few bottles of champers at lunch. The offer of a glass of water to my nan was always met with the same response “yuck, terrible stuff”. So I’ll be sure to refuse any water at lunch today and stick to wine. This photo was taken only a few weeks ago when I went to visit her after I’d been performing at Telethon in Perth. I had a killer hangover and nan said “well I should hope so”. We also share a birthday (August 11th if you are thinking of buying me something) so I shall do my very best to celebrate for 2 from now on. ❤️❤️❤️
Gosh I had a blast last night at one of my favorite parties of the year the @gqaustralia #MOTY. So many beautiful men and women posting photos of themselves slaying the red carpet so I thought I would post a photo in my domain - me on stage making jokes and serving FACE. I was wearing a sweet little number by @jacklondon_official and my hair and makeup was done by the divine @lillym_makeupartist. A highlight of the night was being told I’m very funny by @emrata. A lowlight was falling over face first into a plate of sashimi in front of some hot actor. Didn’t know what to do so I picked myself and my dignity up, peeled a few pieces of raw tuna off my face, placed my hands on my hips and said “haha oh gosh what am I like?!”. He responded completely straight faced “I don’t know you” and walked off. I was offended until I spotted his Tarocash suit and white pleather slip-ons as he disappeared around the corner and immediately felt much better.