I am aware that fashion, like comedy, is subjective. I love fashion, I’ve studied it and I was (twice) cast in the Joan Rivers position on an Australian Fashion Police before they (twice) went with a completely different show. Fair enough - that’s showbiz. But here’s the thing - cropped pants with no socks is a thing. It’s a trend. Please stop writing to me “ew no socks?”. Even more ew - there are sockettes in there. And yes I am going to probably look back at this outfit in 10 years time and think what the fuck was I wearing. In fact I really hope I do! That’s how fashion works, babe. Also if I am dressing up to go to an event and know I’ll be on show I put in effort so you guys can judge me. JUDGE AWAY. That’s what I do for a living. If I didn’t want to be judged I wouldn’t accept free tickets to an event that people otherwise pay for and enjoy the free booze and food all night. What shits me, though, is that we always focus on women as best dressed/ worst dressed. I know best and worst dressed seems a bit archaic but clearly there’s an appetite for it. So let’s even it up a bit. The dudes in this country do a pretty fucking terrible effort. Shocking. Up your damn game, fellas. So put them on a worst dressed list. Put me on the damn worst list if you want. Don’t do it to some new mum who is on her first red carpet in months and doesn’t even want to be photographed. Anywho! END RANT. I’m wearing @calibreaustralia with a Kentucky tie and @maisonvalentino shoes Jack is wearing @mjbale and @tomford.
Love him so much.
This is what I’m wearing to the Logies OKAY? OKAY! Wearing (...ok fine... slaying. You said it, not me) @calibreaustralia, Valentino and dressed by @bradda. The beautiful @myfwarhurst is my date and we are nominated for Eurovision! I can’t think of a joke to add because I’ve had a few wines and the show is about to start. But yes, that IS a pussy bow around my neck. @thestargoldcoast #thestargc #thedarlinggc
It’s Logies day! I’ve seen lots of people preparing with facemasks, hardcore detox’s and bespoke gowns. I personally like to carb load before a day like today. I say “day like today” as though I’m very busy. But I’m actually just pretending to be busy. I did a TV interview this morning and then told people I was going for a “soft sand jog”. I don’t even know exactly what that even is to be perfectly honest. But people were impressed. In reality I just went back to bed in my epic room at @thestargoldcoast. Later today I’ll walk down a bit of carpet that’s red, take a few photos, give a couple of totally fake “Good luck”s and “I’ve never missed an episode of your show!”... and then sit on a table and drink a wine. Well, some wine. Ok fine lots of wine. I AM SOOO BUSY! Happy Logies Day! Myf and our team are nominated for Eurovision so keep your fingers crossed for us! #thestargc #thedarlinggc
After touring for a few months, people ask things like Oh my gosh you must be really looking forward to a home-cooked meal? and I say things like absolutely or might even bust out the slow cooker. Perfect weather for it!. In reality all I want to do is eat Macca’s in the bath and catch up on anything that involves the words Real and Housewives. My dreams have been answered because today @mcdonaldsau is offering $1 Big Mac burgers via the mymacca’s app - only available for a limited time today! And you don't even have to eat yours in the bath. They can be eaten anywhere. Trust me, I've done it. #HotterJuicierTastier #Ad
It’s one of the final nights of my 2019 tour and I couldn’t be more grateful for all the gorgeous audiences who came out to see me. I have loved making people laugh since I was a very young, limp-wristed, nasal voiced boy. Now this limp-wristed, nasal voiced boy is all grown up (physically/ not mentally) and has sold out every show on his 2019 tour and I could not be pinching myself more. I read every single message you guys send me on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, letters (!!) and it makes my day each and every single time. As cliche as it sounds, everything I do in is life is simply to just try and make people laugh. So when I hear your laughter I am always so truly chuffed. A huge thank you to my assistant @bradda who I simply cannot function without, my manager - the best manager on planet earth @melissalegear, my beautiful and fierce touring agents @livenationoznz, my business partner @janellekoenig, my wonderful publicist @kellypblack who gets to deal with the backlash any time I say something stupid on TV and my long suffering boyfriend @jackstrattonsmith. About to hit the stage to do 2 shows in Brisbane tonight. And then Geelong next weekend. This message has been far too sincere for me and I’m starting to feel totally awkward. It’ll be back to your regular bitchy, low-brow programming from now on. See you soon ❤️ (Oh and also this gorgeous shirt is from my favorite brand at the moment @barneycools)
I’ve never done a photo with the audience before but I see lots of other comedians do it so I thought I’d be totes cool and do one too. Thanks for 3 delicious, sold out shows this past weekend, Perth. I love playing the Astor Theatre. My tour only has a few stops left - Newcastle tomorrow night (please tag any Newcastle mates you think might be interested), Brisbane this weekend and Geelong the following weekend. All ticket details are in the link in my bio but you’ll need to be fast because they’re selling like gluten-free, keto hotcakes (I’m v on trend). Brisbane in particular only has a handful left. A small hand. Like a Grant Denyer size hand. See you soon!
Oh ma gawd spread the word... I’m back in Australia and ready to shake my wares in Perth, Newcastle, Brisbane and Geelong! Can’t wait to see you! Ticket link in my bio, babes.
Heading home after the most marvelous month of work and play overseas with this glamour puss. Equal parts devastated to be returning home but excited to be back on tour. Perth, Brisbane, Geelong and Newcastle are up next! Thanks to all the wonderful people I met and worked with this past month. But biggest thanks to @jackstrattonsmith for never judging a champagne with breakfast or a second/ third/ fourth bowl of pasta (again, with breakfast). Also I need to let you know for my own peace of mind that these sunglasses are Christian Dior and one of the most expensive items of clothing I own (I bought them when I got competitive with another gay in the store, standard) yet somehow in photos they manage to look like 50c promotional sunnies. Furious. See you soon Australia ❤️