Well this is very exciting! Say hello to your newest, loosest Cupid, Australia! I am bloody stoked to be the Australian host of the worldwide TV phenomenon Take Me Out which has smashed it all over the world from China to the UK. And now it’ll be arriving on @channel7 later in the year with yours truly at the helm - I’m coming for you, Cash Cow! I’ll be hooking people up left, right and center like the human Tinder I was born to be. They’re currently casting for desperate and dateless guys and girls so if you, like most of my close friends, fall in to that category then head on over to takemeoutaustralia.com.au and leave your love life in my perfectly manicured yet extremely irresponsible hands.
Well this fucking happened. It was a life highlight. You can catch my interview with Cher as well as the entire Mardi Gras broadcast hosted by yours truly from 8:30pm tonight on SBS!
Hello hello! I’m a Team Captain on this awesome new show on Channel Ten alongside the brilliant @rovemcmanus and @janeharber. Starts airing this month! March 22nd. Naturally I will be extremely competitive and win every episode I’m assuming.
I am a guest on ‘Hughesy We Have a Problem’ tonight. I forgot there were cameras, an audience and that Hughesy is not in fact my therapist. So I get very honest. I also got the sheer thrill of doing it beside 3 of the finest comedians I know @katelangbroek, Dave O’Neil and queen Denise Scott. 8:30pm on Channel Ten. And just a reminder that if you would like to see me live on stage saying all the things I can’t say on television... you can! I’m in Adelaide next week followed by Brisbane, Canberra, Melbourne and Sydney! Tons of shows already sold out. Tix from my website.
Thrilled to be the official 2018 @adlfringe ambassador alongside my wife and doppelgänger @courtneyact. This is us at the official launch function just now drinking wine, clapping politely and being very fucking ambassadorial. Courtney is touring the country with her brand new show right now and she is bloody brilliant. It would be criminal not to go see her.
Hey tight asses, cheap skates and people with arts degrees! The good people over at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival are doing a $24 tickets for 24 hours sale on every single show at the festival - mine included. Bargain!! I’m like a Shamwow! It ends at 10am tomorrow morning so you have a little while left to organize your squad and snap up some tickets to see me live. I’m way hotter in person. Just head to the link in my bio or the Comedy Festival website. I'm pumped to be opening the show in Adelaide in a few weeks and then I'm all yours Melbourne! You can spend the money you save on charity... and by charity I mean an espresso martini before the show!
Lots of people posting messages to their partners on Instagram as if they’ve lost their number. Awks. So @jackstrattonsmith I would like to take this moment while you are in the shower and unable to stop me to tell you that let’s cut the shit - you have scored. I’m a fox. I have lovely smooth skin, am quite funny and drive a really fancy car. And because it’s Valentine’s day I am willing to overlook the fact it took you half a day to realize that that is my face in the photo and not @janetroachhw‘s. Really look forward to seeing you at dinner in about 45 seconds. I’ll probably reuse some of the jokes from this caption when I start to run out of conversation. Shine shine shine baby ❤️
I know you’re meant to play coy with things like awards. But I think it’s safe to say that I might need to be making space beside my nutri bullet for a new little friend starting with “Gold” and ending with “Logie”. Yes, tonight I make my debut on Neighbours as Ramsay street’s latest hussy. Now that I’m a soap star the world really is my oyster (or whatever is on the menu at Harold’s Cafe). Unsure whether to now record an album, start my own charity or marry a billionaire. The opportunities are endless! Now if you excuse me I need to go prepare for my first Christmas pantomime!
I’ll be popping on to @theprojecttv panel in a few minutes to give Lisa Wilkinson @lisa_wilkinson a very gay welcome to Channel Ten, discuss my upcoming stint on Neighbours which will probably see me win countless awards/ sign a recording contract... and also chat about my upcoming national tour! I’ll be hitting Adelaide, Canberra, Brisbane, Melbourne, Sydney and Perth. Tickets from the link in my bio. All brand new material and all the shit I’m not allowed to say on TV. 😉