Not long to go until my flirty thirty and I shimmy our freshly spray-tanned, hair-sprayed, plucked, waxed and quaffed bodies on to @channel7 to sauce things up. These ladies are beautiful, vicious and downright hilarious. Just think of that scene in the original Jurassic Park when they feed the goat to the T-Rex... that’s our show. (I’m obviously Laura Dern in this analogy). I can’t wait for you to see it! @takemeoutau
Happy Birthday @jackstrattonsmith! You are my favorite face to see at the start of each day. And, most days, my favorite face to see at the end also. And although we alllll know I’m the hot one - you are the nicest, kindest, most compassionate person I’ve ever met. Thank you for always letting me make fun of you on national television, thank you for always telling me off for not changing the toilet roll, thank you for pretending to be entertained when I do impromptu feature-length music recitals when all you want to do is watch TV. Thank you for being without doubt the most fun person I’ve ever met. And most importantly thank you for always letting me seize the rare opportunity to get a bad photo of you. I’ll have a few wines at dinner and say something more sincere to you then. And then probably pick a fight with a stranger. But I do it safe in the knowledge that I always have you right by my side ❤️
Have had the pleasure of spending the last 3 days in New York with my two beautiful best mates from school. We took a brief reprise from drinking, eating, watching drag shows and bitching about everyone we ever knew (or I did and they listened)... and went to see Hello Dolly with Bette Midler. Holy shit. It was a religious experience. Incredible. Thanks for the backstage tour and photo skillz @double_windsor. I promise I’ll repay the favor and give you a backstage tour of my next show - it’s normally just a fluorescent lit room with my name spelt wrong on the door. Now off to LA for a day before heading home to make sure Jack hasn’t burnt our house down.
After a really intense week in Montreal I’ve popped down to New York to drink as much alcohol as humanly possible. Oh and see some friends, watch some shows etc. Here I am on the Highline wearing an outfit that most people think are pajamas. They aren’t. At least I’m fairly certain they aren’t. Oh and I’m seeing Bette Midler in Hello Dolly tomorrow night - I’m already counting down the minutes!!
Strap in, Australia. My bow and arrow is packed, wings at the ready... this Cupid is ready to spice up the dating game! I am so excited for you to see @takemeoutau which will be on your screens courtesy of my mates at @channel7 REALLY SOON! This show is honestly one of the funniest things I’ve ever worked on. Every single one of the ladies are hilarious. Truly truly funny. I’m like their proud, limp-wristed father. We are so ready to not only shake up the dating scene but turn it on it’s head... and then turn it every which way, in fact. Seriously pumped! All you gotta say is TAKE ME OUT!
Feeling pretty hashtag motherfucking blessed right now. So thrilled to be minutes away from recording my first Netflix stand up special. They are featuring comics from all over the world and this is team Australia/ New Zealand. Couldn’t pick a bunch of lovelier friends to be doing it with @calbowilson @urzilacarlson @nazeemhussain. Naz and Urz crushed it last night (naturally). Now it’s Cal and my turn. Can’t wait! Oh and this outfit was what I wore for the Gala last night - bow tie (@tomford), suit (@jacklondon_official), shoes (@maisonvalentino).
Bonjour! I’m in Montreal, Canada! My name is pronounced Jo-elle like Noël here instead of Joel like bowl. Naturally I’m loving it and dropping my name more than usual. Who knew that was even possible?! Anywho - I’m here to record my @netflixanz which is so exciting. You’ll be able to watch it on your very own TV next year (when you’re not busy watching Nailed It or Ice Road Truckers obvs). Also on the flight over a man randomly walked over to my seat and asked me if I knew that Louis Vuitton make aftershave now and then gave me some to smell. Was truly bizarre. I didn’t know what to do so I said “oh wow it’s gorgeous I’ll have to get some”. Anyway must be off - gonna pop down to the pharmacy and see what shit you can get over the counter in Canada. Heaven. x
I decided to celebrate the fact that’s it’s a Monday and I’m alive by visiting my friend Ronald. He has recently sourced some new beans for his McCafe (I do not know where he finds the time). To celebrate he is giving away over 500,000 coffees today to all new and existing customers on the MyMaccas app. Just don’t drink all 500k at once - I attempted that with espresso martinis one time - not pretty. Apologies to anybody who had to deal with me that night. But make sure you grab a coffee at some point today, their new blend is 👌🏻👌🏻! Or, like me, take your laptop to your bed for 3 hours and pretend you are going to “do some emails”. Thanks Ronald. #McCafe #Coffee #Latte #sp @mcdonaldsau
Showbiz is so glam. Here’s me sitting backstage in a demountable waiting to do a show in Perth. As far as dressing rooms go this isn’t too bad. Once I had to stand behind a piece of black curtain for 45 minutes while the audience loaded. Heard a man say to his wife “why did you drag me to this shit?”. Real confidence booster. I also once shared a dressing room with a circus troupe who thought I was staff and asked me to go get them a coffee. Sadly I did. Also I’m not sure what the white flecks all over the mirror in this photo are. Really hope it’s just paint...