Sending loads of love to my darling @sophiemonk for her first night of The Bachelorette. I'll never forget being 10 years old at the Bardot concert and clutching on to my dad, crying through the whole thing because I was so overcome with emotion. And I also won't forget standing you up 2 weeks ago because I slept through my alarm. Sorry again. Love you and can't wait to watch you pash many, many men!!!
The Sydney Opera House has never heard this much filth. Trust me. Tickets from joelcreasey.com.au
The last time I was at the Sydney Opera House it was with Oprah. I'll never forget the moment she turned to me and yelled as only she can... JOELLLL CREASEEEYYY, one day you will record your next TV stand up special AT THIS VENUEEEE. I said How do you know that? but before she had a chance to respond Gayle came to pick her up and they left. What is crazy is that she was correct! I actually am recording my next TV stand up special at this very venue, the motherfucking Sydney Opera House, next Wednesday (the 13th of September)!! It'll be a best-of of all my material over the years and I would bloody love you to be there! You can grab tickets from my website which is in my bio. 7:15pm show almost sold out and 9:30pm still has tickets available. Honestly though, total pinch myself moment and I'm very excited. Even my mum is coming! It's THAT important!
Rob Mills doesn't know this but one day I am going to give birth to his children. They'll be called Cosima, Paulini and Nollsy and will be completely gorgeous. Obviously I'm a bit out his league but he has a great personality and owns property. I'm thrilled that my future baby daddy and I will be hosting the legendary Twisted Broadway together in Melbourne next month and it's all for an awesome cause... so grab your tickets stat by heading to their website or by just being generally savvy and whacking all the deets in Google. Truly cannot wait to be the Elphaba to his Fiyero.
If gay marriage is legalized then what next? Will someone try marry the Opera House?. How ridiculous. I had a one night stand with the Opera House once. It was VERY needy. Stayed for breakfast. Seriously - today was an honor. I love you Melbourne. We are going to win the shit out of this #loveislove🌈
Olá, Portugal! Thrilled to be headed back to Eurovision with the gorgeous @myfwarhurst - we're going to fit right in as a couple-a regular (Portugese custard) tarts! Bring on the multiple key changes, unnecessary use of pyro-technics and questionable choreography choices! Australia will be competing again! Obviously I have a lot of sway (I don't) so let me know who you think should represent Australia! C'monnnn Bardot! See you in Lisbon, Portugal 2018!! 🇵🇹🇵🇹🇵🇹
Dream. Come . True. I am beyond stoked to announce I'll be filming my brand new TV stand up special at the Sydney Opera House. If you'd like to come along, be part of the audience and potentially be featured laughing (I hope) on camera then you can grab tickets by heading to the Opera House or Just For Laughs Australia website. My mum is coming and we're both very excited!
You know how people post photos of them casually not looking at the camera? This is one of those photos. But in reality this is one of about 482 photos which I art directed for about 15 minutes screaming things like No! Get up higher fuckwit! and show me what you've got so far... nope delete them all and start again and I'm just gonna put the sunnies on. Should I put the sunnies on? I think the sunnies work. They work yeah? I know it's night but they won't know that on Instagram. Anywho here I am hanging out super casually and not staged at all at @crownresorts for my birthday on the weekend.
Over here on the set of Sisters we are pretty passionate about marriage equality. So @magda_szubanski and I asked our colleagues to #STANDUPANDSAYYES in support of marriage equality in Australia!