She actually said no! Worst subject ever. #finleyrilla
Today marks THREE WEEKS in the NICU. I gotta say: it's been the longest three weeks of our lives. Ransom has good days + bad days (bad days being the most recent, unfortunately). I feel confident that we could totally keep him alive + thriving at home right now, but I know he has to meet those hospital guidelines first. I nurse him twice a day and he's been doing fantastic which is so encouraging to me! We have our house clean, the bedside bassinet ready, and Finley comes home this weekend to stay for good! I've been wearing this intense abdominal binder and it makes me feel very held together so I'm thinking I'll be fine to hang with Finley. I've been a remarkably level person my whole life, but this NICU thing has me all up and down. Hopes get high, hopes get low, I get scared to hope for good news, I get scared to hear bad news, and blah blah blah. What a dang roller coaster! I'm pretty sure God is teaching me patience and dependence. NICU baby + insane hospital bill + having to rely on other people for help...all these things are stretching me in ways that I don't even have time to process right now. I am SO grateful to the people who've fed us, clipped Harley's nails and taken her out, left preemie outfits hanging on our front door, brought us gift cards and boob pads, prayed for us, left sweet gifts in the NICU (total day-maker!), and texted encouragement. A nurse last night said Yeah, I was looking at Ransom and it hit me. He looks JUST like your husband! I was like Yeah, it's messed up, isn't it? But Adam is super handsome, and was THE CUTEST little boy I've ever seen photos of. So I guess it's okay. If there's a third Clark baby, maybe that one will look a little like me. Also, isn't it funny that baby boys can pee on their faces?! So different than girls. #ransomwhittaker
It's a bummer that Finley's been living somewhere else for three weeks, but it's awesome that my parents are the best and take such good care of her! #finleyrilla
I watch this at least 8x's a day. #ransomwhittaker
This dude is TWO WEEKS old today. The first week in the NICU flew by, and the second week was exactly the opposite. We are so ready to have our kids home again! Coming to the hospital twice a day from Cleveland is exhausting, but Ransom's the boss and he isn't ready yet. This will probably be the last update for a while. Homeboy just needs to build his endurance up to be able to finish 8 bottles a day for at least 2 days. He can't even finish 1 a day right now. 😔. Last night a nurse was trying to be encouraging and told us how a baby learned to take a bottle in 10 days and it was so impressive. But my reaction was 10 days???! That is so many more days! He's already been here two weeks! 🤷♀️ My days are spent commuting, pumping, snuggling, being hopeful, commuting, pumping, looking for parking places, snuggling, being sad, being so hungry, being uncomfortable in an abdominal binder, etc and repeat. #ransomwhittaker
Update: Today is Ransom's 12th day in the NICU. I gave myself the goal of getting him home in 14 days, but told myself that I wouldn't be devastated if he wasn't ready by then. But I truly thought he would be home after two weeks! And now it's obvious that he will not be home by the two week mark, and I am a little devastated. So much for managing my expectations... He has only ever taken one full bottle. They give him two a day, and he can only manage to get some of it down in the allotted thirty minutes (they limit him to 30 minutes because any longer than that and he's burning more calories than he's getting). He's also started having spells again where his heart rate drops to an alarming number. All normal preemie stuff, but he had been making constant progress every day and the last few days have been a mixture of news. So to the prayer people: please keep praying for him to keep developing, learn to suck/swallow/breathe in unison, and for him to be totally ready for us to take him home! I was excited to bring him home, and now I'm kind of anxious. But I know they won't release him until he's totally ready. ☹️. #ransomwhittaker
C-section moms with other kids: how in the world did you avoid picking your kid/toddler up for 6 weeks? There's no way I can wait that long! But everything requires using my ab muscles (getting her out of crib, high chair, picking her up when she's being rebellious, in and out of the car, etc). I mean...did you REALLY wait the full 6 weeks? If so, HOW?? #finleyrilla
Saturday's Update: When we got to the NICU for our first hangout with Ransom, the nurse told us He has two big surprises for you!! 1) Ransom went off his nasal cannula today and has been breathing wonderfully on his own! So awesome to see the cords and wires dwindling. 2) He took his first bottle today! They'll try and give him one bottle per shift (so twice a day) and work him up from there. They let us try and give him a bottle at our night visit but it didn't go too well. All three of us have a lot to learn. They told me I can stop bringing in milk because they have so much of mine already 😂. That double pump is efficient! #ransomwhittaker Okay, so tired that I actually feel numb. Bye.