Understanding is Love's other name. . Understanding is Love's other name. If you're wondering how to love someone, take time to deeply understand that person & they will feel it to their core. . Feeling down? Are you making sure you're being really understood by someone? . . . .
The main one I want to highlight here is Asking for help is not a weakness ...it's a necessity! We're not meant to do all this on our own. . Just because someone once shamed you or rejected you for needing help doesn't mean it's not OK. It is OK. Asking for help is the right thing to do. . If you're not asking people for help something's going wrong. Either you've stopped living fully OR you're trying to do it on your own. 👎 . Ask for help, everyone at the top got help at every possible step. Whatever it is you're struggling with... You're not alone, ask for help. . . 📸 @stacieswift
MAJOR TRUTH going down here ⬆️ . Children are more vulnerable to fear & stress than adults because their brains are still forming & more sensitive. A child's developing brain doesn't just 'get over it'. . If you're struggling with anxiety, shame, depression, addictions, anger, panic attacks or any mental health issues... Did you have chaos, uncertainty, neglect, violence or inconsistency in your childhood? . There is an explanation for how you're feeling. You don't have to hide your struggle. . Secure, accepting, non-judgemental relationships counterpoint traumatic stress in childhood (this is why the therapeutic relationship works). . .
Agree or disagree? . Whether you're struggling with your boss, role as a parent, your relationship, an addiction, a phobia, friendships or even finances, our struggle is usually rooted in an early experience, trauma or fear. . Blame never solves anything. . Look at your mindset, your beliefs, choices, reactions, fears & limiting beliefs. How frequently does this pattern play out for you? What's still unhealed in you? Be gentle with yourself. But do the work.
As a trained therapist that studied for 5yrs, read every psychology & self help book ever written & been working professionally for nearly 10yrs ...I've started telling my clients to 'love themselves'. . I don't think I'm over simplifying things or getting too 'woo woo', it just really is the answer. . However you are right now, all the ways in which your life isn't how you want, all your flaws & mistakes... Just love yourself. . No more thinking there's something wrong with you, no more judgment, no more shame. . . Also I love Halloween & had a good day with my bestie 🎃🗡️👻⚰️🦇🕸️
Teach them emotional regulation. . As an adult do you... ▪️Lose motivation if anxious? ▪️Resist focussing on one thing? ▪️Get overly reliant on people? ▪️Get addicted to things? ▪️Take things to excess? ▪️Lose control of emotions? ▪️Act impulsively? ▪️Rely on food for comfort? ▪️Sabotage things for yourself? . These are (unhelpful & unsuccessful) attempts to avoid an uncomfortable feeling & find relief. . We do them because we don't know how to regulate our nervous system & get back to feeling ok independently. . When we're born we need our parent to do it for us, this is how we learn how to do it. . The quality of the emotional soothing we received as an infant & toddler is directly related to how we handle our overwhelming emotions now. . The child that's soothed effectively becomes a soothed, calm human that can apply themselves, focus, discipline themselves, tolerate fear, has control over their anger & stays open hearted. #success
Shout out to all the introverted, nervous, socially awkward souls who are pushing past their comfort zone to share themselves with the world exactly how they'd like. #hardshit . This week I'm going to keep asking myself... What would someone who loves themselves do? It feels a bit wrong & uncomfortable, even shameful! . Read back the question! Actually read the question again! How the frick are we being raised if that question feels wrong? . LOVE YOURSELF. Your body. Your mistakes. Your weaknesses. Your darkside. Your fears. LOVE IT. 💗
I'm not posting much at the moment, I'm busy & distracted & feeling behind 😬 But I'm happy also & I guess that's the most important thing 😃😍 . Even though I'm not posting I still only think about mine & everyone else's development. It's all I ever think about, I'm obsessed. No matter who I speak to, what I read, what I watch on TV... all interactions in my daily life, as I always have, I think about the likely, unique early programming of that person. . The trauma's behind people's defenses, the fears caused by early shame or punishment, the family belief systems we each come from, the specific times & ways in which each of us are unable to self soothe. The list goes on & I f*cking love it. . WE ARE THE WAY WE ARE FOR A REASON. The more we seek to 'understand' others the less we will write people off as 'bad' or punish people & the more LOVE will win in the world 🌍 . . Photo credit @sensitivityproject 😘 xxx
Believing the 'Universe has your Back' is about trusting & feeling confident you'll be ok. . It's a hugely helpful trait to have for a good career, in relationships, when taking risks & in everyday life. . The foundation of this kind of belief is often rooted in infancy. . If a baby's early experience is of feeling safe, reassured, deeply attuned to & having their needs consistently met they will develop an unconscious belief that this is how life is for them & will come to expect it. 💗 . .
The 8th of October is my favourite person ever's birthday. Louise Hay would have been 92 today. . This wise, hilarious, incredibly compassionate lady has saved & improved the lives of millions of people, mine included. I've had her books since being a young teenager, her words & voice are so comforting to me. I adore her. . After a difficult start in life she wrote her first book when she was 50 & started her company Hay House when she was 60 #latebloomer . Once she'd sussed out 'loving yourself' she never walked past a mirror without looking in it & saying Well aren't you a hot potato at herself. 😂😍 . Happy Birthday Lulu, I love you xxx