I'm still getting am odd question here and there about where the hell have I been, so here goes for those who didn't catch the info. I probably won't be posting much on here anymore because I don't align with what Instagram stands for anymore, and if I do it's probably going to be different than what you're used to. I decided to move on from posting on IG about my spiritual practice and cards. I will not be preparing another #ShadowWorkOctober this year, at least not on Instagram. From now on my IG profile will remain private to minimize the lurking. If you're still interested in my perspective on the spiritual aspect of the human condition consider checking out my YT channel (link in bio) or blog. Wanna connect? Just DM me.
Some art journal action from last night 💙
My favorite place on earth 🌍 #heavenonearth #sulistrowiczki #zalewsulistrowice #lake #ślęża
We all end eventually, don't we? We die, we move on, we leave things behind, we surrender to the flow of our precious life force guiding us through landscapes we'd never suspect existed within and without. This is me, here and now, gently laying my head on the surface of the deep waters of life, surrendering. I spent the last Moon cycle away, paying attention, listening closely, actually seeing my life for what it is and where it's headed. And it changed me. I discovered some parts of me anew. I found out that I'm afraid of water. I realized that me-time was so much more profound when it wasn't photographed. I cried by the lake. I hysterically laughed in the lake. I kneeled before trees and bushes. I gently stroked fresh moss with my fingers. I lit incense in silence. I drummed. I filled pages upon pages of my art book. I laughed. All this happened because I made more space for it. Simply by deleting social media and staying away from it as much as possible. It is just as amazing as it is terrifying. I'm not going back to how I was before. See me move on and evolve. Witness me maturing in a new direction. Not all things that end do so because they weren't good enough to be. It's a matter of space in the world.
This New Moon has shocked me, slapped me and screamed Wake up! in my face until I did. Thank you, Dark Mother, for showing me what I need to see and for allowing me to shed built-up dead layers of skin in places where it's the most ugly. My health since radiotherapy has been shittier than I wanted to see, especially the feminine aspects of my health. It's been falling apart, and I'm not sure if it's radiotherapy or something else that's causing this, but it's getting serious. I'm saying this out loud to myself, to stop treating it like it's nothing, and most of all - to stay more mindful with my body. She deserves it. Either way, I decided to turn my IG account private and temporarily uninstall it completely from my phone, at least till the Full Moon, and perhaps till the next New Moon. I need to be present with my body and heart, and it seems like I have to eliminate distractions to achieve that on a satisfactory level. If you want to stay in contact, please do so through YT or my blog.
I shared my criticism of the Oracle industry on my YT channel today (along with a show-and-tell of my oracle deck collection). Badly researched decks, decks with straight up fake info in them, lazy fluff that disrespects the cultures that those decks often draw sacred symbolism or entire pantheons from. I find this shit problematic. What are your thoughts on this?
Careful, I'm delicate 🖤
It's embarrassing to admit but it's been years since I researched any other culture than my own in great detail. Egyptology, here I come! Ordered two (used) highly recommended books by a Polish egyptologist, one about the deities, cults and rituals of Ancient Egypt, and the other one about myths and symbols of Ancient Egypt. I'm especially excited about the first one, which has some rare translations of prayers and chants, as well as various epithets of the gods. All this research to gain a greater understanding of the goddess Isis, as well as being able to use the #isisoracle with more depth. Also, TFW you draw the same card second day in a row! I have this deck for a few days and already some of the cards showed up for me more than once. Fun! #egyptology #ancientegypt #goddessisis
I've been thinking back and forth about this deck for years but finally decided to get it after I've had some spontaneous experiences with Isis and the Ankh not long ago. Well, it arrived today and while the cards are certainly beautiful I'm kind of disappointed with the rituals from the guidebook. I've heard good things about them but to me they seem very vague and more like short self-guided meditations / visualizations rather than rituals. Too much woo for my taste, I expected something deeper. But I think it can be salvaged, the rituals could be easily expanded upon and structured to have more meat in them, but it'll definitely take time and effort. 🤔 #Isisoracle
Shadow & light
It's Walpurgisnacht or Czarodzielnica tonight - have a good one, Witches! 🖤 #czarodzielnica #walpurgisnacht
Coming to you with a fresh report from yesterday's autogenic training. Yesterday's session was focused more on the body, and basically caused me to blank out completely on a mental level and sink deep into my body, providing deep regeneration and relaxation. Other than that I had two very interesting visuals! The first was a crystal ball tree - this time my tree had a huge crystal ball instead of the crown. The ball was held by three branches, kind of like a ball stand. And the tree had only four, very symmetrical roots. Depending on how I looked at the tree it was either small enough for me to use the crystal ball for scrying, or it was so gigantic that it felt as if it was meant for the gods only. The other vision that appeared almost by the end of the session was a vision of someone whom I immediately instinctively recognized as The Sun God. He was mostly a skeleton, his hair was strands of nerves floating on the wind, and I could only see one of his hands which was performing a mudra, known as gyan mudra or chin mudra which means gesture of consciousness. He only appeared for a swift moment but that moment was damn glorious. I could feel that he had this of the desert vibe to him. Lemme tell you, still processing this shit. #autogenictraining #VintageWisdomOracle #fountaintarot
Beyond the mind, the heart beats - That's a really nice way of saying Get the fuck out of your head already! Pay attention to your Heart, it could really use your help at the moment. You know, my tarot card of the year is The Fool. And I can really feel its energies around me at all times. I've started some new hobbies, been exploring my creativity like mad, been more fearless and trusting in opening myself up to the world, both to absorb what I'm given and to give what I have to give. This constant feeling of nakedness, of being completely vulnerable and exposed is breathtakingly awe-inspiring at times, but most of the time it's terrifying and overwhelming. I'm trying to be a brave girl about this, I don't want to turn my back on the world and run to my cave, even though at times that is all I want to do. This year made me see how stuck in my head I am. I can see it especially clearly since I started my autogenic training, and since the Queen of Swords showed up as my dominant energy, and Queen of Wands as my shadow. I wanted to say to myself that that's bullshit, and fuck the Queen of Swords. I put so much effort into not having to deal with her. But the truth is that I've been ignoring and denying her existence while trying to become more Fire, more Heart, more Body. Fake it 'till you make it. She's me, and she wants to be acknowledged. I feel a painful knot in my throat trying not to cry and scream. But girl, I could really use some damn crying and screaming.
When I was walking you through my journals in my first YT video, I stumbled upon a spread that I designed in my tarot journal a few months ago. I wanted to use it for something very specific but it never happened so I ended up completely forgetting about it. When I accidentally dug it out two days ago I realized that this was the perfect moment for it to come into my life. May I present you with the #TenderHeartSpread - Exploring Vulnerability. Of course I tested it out on myself first, and I loved the results so much (oh boy, some deeply rooted shit to work through) that I couldn't not share it with you. It's best to do it with a specific situation that makes you feel vulnerable in mind, but feel free to modify it ofc. 1. I see you - Soft spots. What makes me vulnerable in this situation? 2. I feel you - How do I instinctively react to this vulnerability? Negative self-talk? Denial? Stress? (Insert coping mechanism here)? 3. I know you - Where does this vulnerability stem from? 4. I embrace you - How can I tap into my vulnerability in an empowered way? That's it! Let me know how you liked it if you used the spread. I'm always curious to compare notes. #maryeltarot #tarot #tarotreadersofinstagram #tarotcommunity #tarotspread
I am God. I am of spirit, I am the land, I am a woman. I thought I'd introduce myself to my new creative victim - da Bible. Cheers to @wild.dark.magic for inspiring me to start this project. Curious to see where it takes me, both creatively and therapeutically speaking. #blackoutbible #blackoutbiblepoetry #blackoutpoetry #bible #biblejournaling #bibliomancy
Okay, I decided to bite the bullet and actively start fighting my fear of speaking English in public. In other words, I uploaded my first YT video where I show you my journals, books and planners while swearing and trying to shake less. Posting this as a reminder to myself (and perhaps others like me) that beginnings are difficult and awkward as fuck. Posting a live link in my bio. Huge thanks to @tarotbyania and @wolfofcoins - you gals helped me do this by providing me with the final push that I needed, even though you might not realize it.