This year it’s time to put me first. Birthdays always highlight a lot for me, and I’ve come to realise that there are some very good people in my life but I spend far too much of my time allocating my headspace to the not so good ones. When you live with high-functioning BPD, people often forget what demons you’re battling as you appear happy and busy. But the intense feelings of loneliness I’ve felt this last week or so have been very hard to bear. People always share their fabulous birthday outfits/parties on social media but sometimes they are a real struggle for me. When I was younger they would be the best thing, the highlight of my year, and now they just highlight the pain and absence of certain people. I heavily struggle with abandonment issues at the best of times and the unknowing of who may think of you, who may remember, who may purposefully ignore. It gets exhausting. It’s time to put myself first, and stop letting the world and his wife walk all over me whilst still expecting me to be there every time I’m picked up and dropped. I’m tired of being at the bottom of everyone’s list. • • • • • • • • #bpd #anxiety #depression #ocd #cptsd #borderlinepersonalitydisorder #borderline #recovery #exhausted #birthday
When all you wanted as a child was heeled sparkly jelly shoes and you never got them. Then your mate remembers and buys you a pair for your 28th birthday. Childhood dream achievement unlocked. @emilyingram5 you are THE BEST. • • • • • • #jellyshoes #birthday #yas
Feeling a tad fragile today so have a photo of me from yesterday morning trying on my new GymShark crop. Thank you so much to everyone who made yesterday so special! I struggle a lot with the concept of how birthdays highlight who may and may not be there from year to year. But for those of you who consistently make me smile, not just on that one day of the year, but everyday. Thank you 💕 you mean the world to me, never change 💗 • • • • • • #gymshark #crop #gymsharkwomen #gymsharkseamless #gym #fitness #workout #fitfam #birthday #bershka #nike #ootd #pinkhair #peachhair #rosegoldhair #rosegold
In ma birthday suit 💅🏻 • • • • • • #jumpsuit #Birthday #birthdaysuit #28 #burntorange #tattoo #girlswithtattoos #pinkhair #rosegold #rosegoldhair #pastel
Birthday bellinis and brunch with my beautiful @emilyingram5 this morning! 🥂🥂🥂
Like ‘Snakes On A Plane’ but less dramatic and Samuel L Jackson isn’t there. Dogs On A Beach.
Walking the dogs on a windy Brighton beach is like flying two hairy kites.