Just a casual observation deck on THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD 🙌
(Reluctantly) slouching towards Jerusalem 🔥
Dead Sea in mid-July: the atmospheric equivalent of a Michael Fassbender lookalike who will instantly make you regret your existence 🔥🔥🔥#whatlookslikeheavenbutfeelslikeburninghell #lowestpointonearth
Keep your friends close and your teens closer and your median age 24 forever #howtopostponeadulthood101
Architectural spirit animal!
Currently seeking: human equivalent to support my emotional baggage. Same bod wouldn't hurt.
Happy belated #internationalkissingday from my long-term (albeit not so loyal) kissing partner 👅
Ringing in America's birthday like a modern-day American icon!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸 Follow the link in bio to read about my most courageous journalistic endeavor to date!
The girl I first bonded with over ridiculous dating stories is now officially MARRIED! And to a mighty fine candidate, may I add. Thank you @lolaonlove and @ballsrestaurant for spreading your love far n' wide last night.. Here's to hoping that stuff is contagious! 🍾🥂❤️ #lolaonlove #lolaINlove