I dont really post pictures of myself anymore because I have to scroll so far back in my camera roll to find a decent one, and if its decent, its definitely not recent. I've been hurt and depressed for months, on top of being totally stressed out and idk how much more I can take. I don't really have a family, never really have. The thought of it makes me cringe. I don't have any close friends anymore except one. I'm only really social at work. I feel ugly. I feel like no one actually likes me, and if they do, they stop when they realize how fucked up I am inside. I'm not capable of holding proper friendships, I'm never anyone's first choice, and people who say they love me don't even act like they know who I am in front of other people. My name was supposed to be me, it was supposed to be cool and rock n' roll, being Azzy Poizon used to give me confidence, that girl was a bad ass, I thought she could take on the world. Then one by one, she lost it all. I feel like I'm losing things now that I never even had anyway. But maybe I'm just toxic and thats all I'll ever be. Maybe I really am poison.
Bright & early ⛅ About to go to my first full day at #WarpedTour!
Instagram, meet Caspia 💜 this is the first guitar I've ever bought for myself ❗#pavopurple #js32 #dinky #jacksonguitars . My goal was when I got good enough to write my own songs and write at least one solo, I would upgrade from my Lyon (the Washburn I got for my 16th birthday, my 1st electric guitar) and I got good enough, so I started looking...i had my eye on a few, but im very particular about my purples, they were never the right hue. Most of the guitars i was looking at were white or green. I wasn't searching when I found this beauty, I just happened to see it in a catalogue I got in the mail and it was calling name...it was the perfect shade of purple, had floyd rose, came with a whammy bar, black hardware, and i've ALWAYS wanted a Jackson! I had to have it. I'm broke as fuck now, but I've got it. I'm proud of myself. its so perfect, its not too small, not too big, not heavy, and the bridge fits perfectly in my hands 💜 next goal...once I can proficiently sing and play at the same time, I'm gonna get a mothafuckin' Flying V! And if I ever get good enough to shred, I'll finally get a B.C. Rich Warlock guitar. Until then...me and #Caspia are gonna have us some fun 😘
💜 These #cowboyboots are the EXACT same color as my car. My swag level just increased by 200%❗
I need to do my roots really bad, but I'm still making it work haha
Old picture, I have a few selfies I haven't posted so I might spam them later lol #selfie #purple #myhairwasnice #ineedmyrootsdone
Got locked out of my Instagram due to what I think was someone hacking me? Not sure what to do about that but it really freaks me out...so whoever is doing that, please stop. I like my privacy and value it, I dont like for it to be invaded in any way! It makes me paranoid as fuck. in the meantime, here's recent and very #purple picture of me ft. My purple keys, purple key ring, purple key chain, purple car, purple #bandana, purple underwear, purple #nails #purplehair and purple #eyebrows 😂 i like to match 💜 #theglammobile #rockerchick #rocknroll #leatherpants #cowboyboots #studdedbelt #bighair #80sStyle #altstyle #alternativestyle #sleaze #alternativeblackgirl #violet #matching #cheetahprint #hairextensions #longhairdontcare #purpleeverywhere #purpleeverything
Your heart, under the rose 🌹 #purplehair #longhair #longhairdontcare #purplelipstick #purpleeyebrows #highlights #makeup #rose #victorycurl #alternativegirl #pinup #edit #mood #goth #rockerchick #hairextensions #tan#alternativestyle #alternative #azzypoizon
I have come to question every truth i know...Not one more step in the name of progress, in the name of blind ambition. How the fuck am i supposed to feel, when everything i know lies broken at my feet? I shed tears at the end of #sleepwalker. Felt like i was caught in a mosh for half their set, then I actually crowdsurfed for the first time in years because they actually played Romance is Dead and I cried again. They were everything I hoped they'd be. First show I've been to in months and I feel like it took 5 years off my life. Still one of the only metalcore bands I'll ever truly love. Last night was wikked. I missed these days... #parkwaydrive #itslikeim15again #butiwas19fiveyearsago #formeremokidthings #whatever #idc #metalcore #bogarts #bogartsshows
11/17 has been the worst day of my years since I was a kid. Go figure, my favorite band of all time has the very last show they'll ever play in my country, in my favorite city in the world, on that day...its really hard to see that band and that date on the same place. November of 2009 was one that was especially bad, the whole week starting the 17th was one of the worst of my life. My abuelo died that week and I had no way to get to NYC without missing school. School wasn't going well at all, it seemed like I was having problems with any and every person that was close to me, my mental health wasn't in the best place, my physical health was about to drastically change, and I was losing my friends left and right...during that time, it felt like all I had was this band. HIM wasn't going to leave me, ignore me, break my heart. They never made me feel like the way I love wasn't good enough and was always there when I really needed them. Of all the days for them to play their last show, I can't believe thats going to be the day...i don't know what that means for me. I'm going to be left again on that day, i'm going to feel all of that pain again. and then its done with forever...maybe thats just it for me. Maybe thats just the end. Life as I've known it is probably going to be over that day, and I don't know how to feel. Its not just the end of an era to me. i hope its a reset button for that day. I hope after this, I'll never have to hurt for another November ever again. Maybe its a sign that I should try to start over. Maybe I just won't come back from New York this time. I dont know...I dont know what this means and its scary. I'm scared and excited and mostly sad. I'm trying to attend: orlando, ATLANTA, Worcester, NEW YORK CITY, silver springs... Maybe: Philly, Chicago, (probably not, but if I can) Los Angeles A lot of you who follow me know me through this band, so I hope to see you guys at some of these shows!!
When I close my eyes, when the sun dies, when the night falls...can I go, too? When the ground shakes, when my mind breaks, when my heart stops...take me with you 💋 . . . #selfie #lyrics #purplehair #fedora #wingedeyeliner #redlipstick #purple #edit #rockerchick #alternativestyle #alternativegirl #makeup
💜 #selfie #diy #croptop #rippedjeans #summershit #eyeliner #cateye #makeup #purplehair #girlswithpiercings #hairextensions #girlswithtattoos #tan #alwaystan #alternative #alternativegirl #rockerchick #alternativestyle