July cannot come soon enough. This week is my birthday, followed by our anniversary then an adoption anniversary. . Sorting out my feelings that we can’t celebrate like usual, for all of the above, but it’s been months and the four of us are still surviving in our tiny home. . I’ve requested a bunch of time off in July, because virus or no virus I’m not about to let my vacation time expire (again)! A day spent at home sweatily Marie Kondo-ing my home always beats a day at the office, or working from home I guess 🤷🏻♀️
I’ve been quiet for a while now because Im honestly not sure how to deal with all the changes/lack of change that is happening around me. DC is playing this weird game where there’s a testing site right outside my apartment but also you can go shopping if you feel like it 🤷🏻♀️. The news has shifted dramatically in its focus even though not *that much* change has happened. . What I’m getting at is I’m growing more frustrated every day. With phases. With people on Instagram. All of fucking Florida. You too California. . I’m not painting or reading, I’m barely watering my plants. So far I had coped so well with the changes but watching everyone else move on with life while knowing it’s gonna halt my own is just *really* frustrating. . One bright note I’ve started to use my admin powers to delete ignorant people from my community Facebook group. I won’t give a platform to ignorant people, and I’m petty 💅🏼
Really happy with my decision to start gardening on my balcony at the start of this pandemic. Currently working on reviving the plants we rescued from our office. This guy went 12 weeks without being watered, his chances are low but I’m trying. . Still watching the news and contributing how I can, but it seems weird that we’re all supposed to just get back to work tomorrow at 9am. What’s giving me joy today are all the brands/companies that people are learning more about, specifically the hypocritical ones. I realize we can’t boycott everything, but I’m glad people are at the bare minimum being called out for their problematic ways.
Today was spent watching the demonstrations from the moment I woke up to now. I’m annoyed there’s a pandemic impacting my feelings of safety going outside to show support. I’m over the nonstop statements from brands that feel empty. I miss my Riverside friends (all of you) more than ever. . But despite all my negative feelings I am loving the changes made to 16th & H St NW. . For years I caught the bus right next to where you find the letter B. I earned my masters two blocks away. My first apartment in DC was three blocks away. My first job that helped me do more than survive was 4 blocks away. This area of DC holds a lot of memories for me, and I’m glad the cuck in the White House can’t walk outside without seeing and hearing the change that is coming. . To cope I’m focusing on what I can control. Supporting my clients. Checking in on friends. Continuing to threaten my boyfriend if he doesn’t wash his hands for a full 20 seconds. . This afternoon I drew this, while watching people much more brave than me demonstrate in a city that has given me so much. Thankful for all of them.
Living in DC gives me a different perspective than most when major news happens. I hear the sirens that you see on the news and the people being harmed are in my community. I made the choice to not post resources, reading lists, graphics, etc because not only has all that information been out there long before people were paying attention, expecting others to hand it to you in neat lists and pre written letters is shocking to me. No one book/class/person taught me how to address my bias, support those with a different lived experience, or take the small actions that collectively cause change. You have to do the work, and that starts with the making the effort, not simply swiping up. . No social media post ever made me go vote, donate time/money or sign a petition. All that has happened because I gave a shit, no one had to bring it to my awareness or design a cute graphic to convince me. People have been aware, they just didn’t care until light was shined on their complacency. . I’m overwhelmed. As a therapist, as a DC resident, as a friend. All I wanna do is check in with people while also not wanting to place a burden on them to cater to my need to know how they are doing. . At first I felt shitty for not following the trend to post resources/information/support online but it’s not something I can or want to take on. My focus right now is supporting my clients and making sure my boyfriend doesn’t get COVID from licking his damn fingers. That’s all I have the bandwidth for and I’m going to stop feeling bad about it. This was one long word vomit but if you’ve been wondering what the hell I’m doing, see previous sentence.