Random find at @snoopersparadise67 🧡 I walked past and saw it in the window, carelessly squeezed in between books and cassettes, lamp shades and a pair of shoes - it just stood out to me. I’m not even sure what it is but I find it so beautiful 🦆
One of the biggest lessons of this decade I am in is to trust myself. To listen to my intuition, that soft voice inside that is on a different frequency than all the other voices. That is unmistakably guiding me and showing me the path of love. I always heard the voice. But I didn’t follow it. I was raised not to trust myself. To be afraid of my strength and my judgement. I was taught to seperate my body from my mind, my spirit, my heart. To ‘not trust in my own understanding but in the Lord’ because ‘the heart is deceitful above all things’. This message has brought so much damage to my mental and physical health. It made me compartmentalise my feelings, my thoughts and my sexuality. It hurt me. It made my body sick. I made decisions out of fear, because of someone else’s expectations, because I had no real grasp of who I was. There were so many pieces of me. Stepping into my intuition and learning self-trust has been the gift of my life. Everything is connected, I am One. When something is wrong, my body knows. I am allowed to trust myself. I am ready to live whole. Heart, soul, body and spirit.
‘The doors to the world of the wild Self are few but precious. If you have a deep scar, that is a door, if you have an old, old story, that is a door. If you love the sky and the water so much you almost cannot bear it, that is a door. If you yearn for a deeper life, a full life, a sane life, that is a door.’ ~ Women who run with the Wolves, Clarissa Pinkola Estes (Still chewing on this book!)
Afternoon break in the sun, reading the same words over and over again. ‘This’ by @michaelgungor has left a deep imprint on my soul. It has lifted a weight and opened up a door that I was looking at for a long time. He expressed so beautifully all that I have felt but didn’t dare to say out loud. Christianity has become more of a struggle the older I got. It was all so easy and simple at 22. So clearly labeled. But life is not one-dimensional anymore and I can’t go back to seeing things as square as ten years ago. I don’t know if the label ‘Christian’ still applies to me, I don’t know if I am a Mystic now or a Buddhist and I don’t really care. Because the labels are made up. We are taught to think what they mean. And I am un-learning and re-learning what they mean to me. There is SO much I can say about this book. So much I can say about how I am feeling right now. But I think that’s a face to face conversation that requires a cup of tea or a beer, whatever you need :) One of the last words wrapping up this complex book say: ‘I love the mixture of all these myths and metaphors that have formed my experience of this magnificent existence. Holding them loosely, I feel like a child again. Unencumbured. Free to play, to sing, to dance before I knew what ‘good’ playing, singing or dancing was supposed to look like’ 🧡