Aren't we cute??? We, @joshwolfcomedy, @sarahcolonna, @jonryan_9 are bringing some fun to the Great White North before they build a wall on this side too.
He says he has a billion dollars - this means a decent fitting pair of tennis shorts cost a billion and 1 dollars. Pray for Melania
Forever a day late and a dollar short. This pool doesn't know what it missed- I was bringing all my sick dance moves an extensive knowledge of Broadway show tunes.
Colbert talking shit about my hometown. Long live exit 59.
Why wouldn't I participate in #nationalselfieday on a day where my combination Axe pomade & American Crew wax are working at the top of their game.
Yo Barbie, you up? It's me 2017 Ken. Just finished a night out with my boys. Hey you still have that dream house? I've been crashing on a buddies couch because this stupid YouTube fame is taking forever to happen and I was hoping I could swing by. I'd love to smash that again if you're up for it.
Happy Fathers Day to my dad, Gene Franjola. One of the good ones. I think I'm still on your Costco membership and I appreciate it.
I'm a die hard Mets fan, but when @smarmalstein asks you to a Yankees game in LA you go. He's a fun hang.
If you have a hottub I'm going to get in it. I don't want hear about the hot tub rules - no drinks, closes at 11 pm, if you feel dizzy get out, that diarrhea one. Just turn on the jets and be cool.
Top of the 9th 3-2 Cubs and I'm posing- life of a model. #cubs
Nothing will ever bring me more joy than Mr. Met finally cracking and telling fans to fuck off. How many times have we all been Mr. Met and just wanted to give the world the finger? It's perfection. This person will be fired, but to me he's a hero.
If you invite me to your house for a party I'll be the last one to leave and I'll steal food on the way out. I wasn't aware the @sarahcolonna1 and @jonryan_9 had security cameras throughout their house and sent me this picture this morning of me boldly stealing a pie.