I'm fun. Thanks to all the great people of Chicago. ☘☘☘
When I was working as an electrician in New York City, I never believed I would one day be at a Chicago bar at 7 a.m. on St. Patrick's Day with a 6' 7 clown. Thanks Puddles and @wgnmorningnews
A visibly drunken and tattooed Geoffrey The Giraffe was spotted soliciting Johns behind a now closed Toys R Us. Onlookers said Geoffrey could be heard screaming can I suck your dick in that famous high pitched voice from blocks away. Sad news. #toysrus #closed
Because @realdonaldtrump is in California today- I've decided to invite him over and offer him a little tour of my neighborhood. Here in Studio City when we're not harassing women or molesting kids we live a simple life of decent paying jobs, good schools and open minded neighbors. Come by.
CHICAGO ZANIES Thursday March 15th Downtown Friday March 16th Rosemont Saturday March 17th🍀🍀🍀St.Charles @ Pheasant Run.
Good luck to everyone today. After 4 visits to Harvey's hotel room, 2 Spacey parties, 3 Lauer meetings & a Charlie Rose lunch I wound up with this golden man. I know many of you didn't see any of the nominated movies, but the one where the mute lady fucks a fishman or the other where the kid fucks a peach are pretty good.
Tomorrow from Heather's living room in Woodland Hills, California we bring you all the red carpet excitement without the risk of being groped by Seacrest. Join us and whatever Costco appetizers Heather has in the freezer as we give Hollywood glamour the beating it deserves. #oscars
Happy 24th Birthday Justin Bieber. I'm ready to dance battle again. See us at Hyenas Ft Worth this weekend.
I know @fortunefeimster did her @wholefoods dance, but that place is way too expensive for me...so I bring you the @traderjoes dance. Top that.
Yesterday was @chelseahandler birthday and today Facebook shared this memory from 4 years ago. Here's to another year at the cool kids table. I like these people. Happy Birthday Chelsea.
Hey @oldnavy would it kill ya to throw me a few pairs of slim fitting slacks. I have model-like features and I promise to be better than those talking mannequins you used a few years ago.
I know our country seems so divided right now, but Daniel (Macchio) and Johnny (Zabka) managed to make up. This picture brings me joy.