thank you, everyone, for the positive responses to yesterday's post & for sharing your versions of the same thing. 🖤 i did not expect that and appreciated every comment. . . i wrote in yesterday's post that i try to keep myself awake so I can scout out the signs...well, how's THIS for, like, a literal sign, huh? . . (my sister @veealley's apartment is so friggin' cool & i’m not worthy.) #neonsign #thingswillbefine
cried myself to sleep last night, but it’s alright. slept in the bed and not on the couch for the first time in a long time and cried remembering when we used to fall asleep there holding each other’s hand. . . every morning I wake up and begin again. try to to be there for myself, establish grace-filled rituals, keep myself awake so I can scout out the signs, but this foggy unwellness lately, it’s getting old ...and this grief, it creeps up on ya. . . #criedmyselftosleeplastnight. i wish more people would start Instagram posts this way when it’s true. ...because even when it’s true, we get up, don’t we? we always #beginagain.
my Christmas tree is still up, but purposefully + intentionally so... . . ...because I still find it breath-taking and its twinkle in the night still tickles my tummy and upturns the corners of my mouth and opening the door to my apartment in the dark of the early evening greeted by its glow surprises me every time, so...yeah. ✨🎄✨ Still up. . . It’s coming down in two weeks, when I’m off for February break, if the kitties don’t petition for me to keep it all year. (Now I’m picturing them with signs marching around the apartment. 🙈)
giving you credit for my warmth. strength. wit. beauty. simply because you felt it. simply because you recognized it. as if I was already not these things before I met you. as if I did not remain all these once you left. // @rupikaur_ you nailed it, sista. . . Monday on the @craftyassfemale podcast, @rukristin & I speak on the topic of break-ups 💔 just in time for the month of love. How appropriate! This quote is where I’m currently at with it all. ✊🏻
I’ve been home sick today and there’s nothing like being confined to the couch unable to sit up with not much else going on to make you post something for the first time in a month. ✊😎 It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say, it’s that I’m learning to fill my day up with lovely, simple things that are just for me, and the romance fades when I remove myself from the moment so that I can try and tell people about it. 🙃 The magic always gets lost in translation because it was never meant to be translated in the first place, just experienced. // . . Just one of the many lessons in learning to be human again. ✨🙌🏻✨ #CarmenSandiegoBoop
I just completed the final touches on #ARZ_DecemberDaily2018 (!!!) and to say that I needed this project so badly last month is the understatement of the year (granted it’s only DAY 1, but you feel me). . . It also must be said that modifying #lyrics to fit the situation is such a fierce passion of mine, that I feel like #WeirdAlYankovic and myself should be in the next version of ‘A Star is Born’ where he would discover me and rip me from my teaching job and the whole movie would be us going on tour making parodies together. ✊😂🎤 . . I’m dreamin’ REAL BIG in 2019. @alfredyankovic, what do you think?! . . #HaveYourselfaMerryLittleChristmas #EMO #allblack #DecemberDaily #ARZ_DecemberDaily #AmandaHoldsThings