Momshaming has many faces, but its spine is always the same. One of the last working tools of patriarchy to keep women as second-class citizen, it takes roots in the following two oppressive concepts of motherhood: Motherhood IS womanhood. A woman’s worth is in her womb. Idea logical in pre-industrial era, when having children to take over the household was the only means to survive the old age. Today, children are economically nothing but a burden, but our understanding of what is a woman is unchanged. Motherhood is endless self-sacrifice and unconditional love. A real mother always does the best thing for the child, even if that means that she herself is miserable all the time. A child’s quality of life has always a disproportionally bigger value than the mother’s. One can always guilt a mom into feeling like a failure, because she didn’t put motherhood above all else. - Did you go to work and left your baby in the arms of father/grandmonther/daycare? How dare you finding purpose of life in anything other than motherhood! - You stopped breastfeeding because the pain of almost ripped off nipples was unbearable? How dare you – literally nobody cares about your pain! - Did you expose yourself in lingerie in an act of self-admiration? How dare you! Now that you are a mom, your body is not yours – it belongs to the child and should only serve her interests. Hence the normality of rape threats in my DM’s by people asserting they must do as a reminder that my mom-body does not belong to me. Often, we don’t even register how deeply it is rooted in us: in the third picture you can see how the meme creator is making a joke about R.P. being an idiot. But what it ends up saying, is, that of though it is a man who is an idiot, it is naturally still A WOMAN who is to blame for his shit, bcz she didn't put motherhood above all. Mom-shaming is habitually used against feminism: In Kavanough-case, women were encouraged to think about their sons being falsely accused of rape (of though the risk of it is less than 1%, whilst every 6th woman in US is victim of sexual assault). When exposing sexist men, we are blamed for not thinking of their children.
🌵Crazy Plant Lady through and through 🌿 My most joyfull moment of the year is when we go get plants for our balcony in the spring, like we did this weekend. 🤩 2nd pic: me trying to make a run for our shoppingcart with this expensive palm 🌴 whilst husband is distracted by taking 📸. 3d pic: the chilli 🌶 and snack pepper plants are staying inside untill the nights are warmer. 4-6th pic: flowers, herbs and two big pots with 🍓 for our girls to pick in the summer. 7th pic: the hospital consisting of plants that barely survived the winter, but now get the chance to get well in the 🌞.
My whole Easter in one picture 🐣
As you might have noticed, I’m happy to draw a biblical parallel every time I get a chance. That’s because I’m passionate about the subject of my studies, which is Judaica (jewish texts, culture, shoa (holocaust), humor, literature, gender perspective, history, zionism, mysticism). Understandably, I was ecstatic to be invited to #jødiskinformationscenter (Center for Jewish Information) for coffee and conversation and private tour to the Synagogue. Have been my dream for a long time to get in.
On womansplaining…To categorize is the white cis-het man’s favorite game. That goes for everything from birds to “races” of people, to temperament of women in accordance to the color and density of their pubic hair (hello to men of the Victorian era). The premise of such categorization is that he, who is creating these categories is himself an embodiment of the default human being and behavior. He is that biblical Adam, to whom God have given the right to name all there is. He deserves to be called just a human, unlike let’s say, a woman of colour, who deserves her own category. Women of the last half a century gained enough power to protest the absence of their life realities represented in white cis-het man - made categories & narratives. So, they did what men will do, and for a change created their own categories to describe phenomena of their life. Such as victimblaiming, gaslighting, rapeculture, and, of cause, mansplaining. Not for fun, but as a tool in process of collecting a testimony of our joint experiences. To make those experiences a part of human history, from which we hitherto were excluded. I’m not the only woman who had a male schoolteacher explain her, that menstruating was not a valuable excuse for my absence from swimming. And, that surely, that heavy flow, I was talking about, was an exaggeration. This is what the word mansplaining means–men explaining things to women, that either are common knowledge or are a part of female experience. It is not just a fancy word we invented to dismiss any man’s speech, but to conveniently and fast communicate to each other that one more idiot had tried explaining to me, what size of tampons I should use. Using words like womansplaining or acknowledging that one is now “gaslighting”(always used in ,God forbid us recognizing women-made terms) has now became a popular argumentation method of anti-feminist movement. Remember, acknowledging that one is now “gaslighting” doesn’t give one a permission to talk shit about womxn, and finally learning the word victimblaiming does not give @alex_vanopslagh permission to use it in defense of a racist islamophobic terrorist, however much he sympathizes.