I FEEL// It is not about closing the outside world, it’s about going inside yourself to face the world. Giving myself the time to face the fear, pain, and anxieties. Seeing them for what they truly are to release. Doing the work. To release, to soften, to let go. The more you let go and release, the more you will be able to be. Be with yourself. Soften into your truest form & begin believing in yourself. The more I take the time to give my body love. The more I can be present and give love. I gave myself permission to heal, to grow & to love. #love
I FLOW// Listening to my body & giving it the nourishment it needs. In all forms it craves. Providing foods that will energize & restore my body. Creating each meal as a cooking experience with music & real ingredients to give my body each flavor it desires. Savoring each moment & each breath to truly taste. The yoga helps me become connected. With breath, and movement I find center. Being able to listen to what my soul craves when I give it stillness and space to be. Following the intuitive movement that my body yearns for. Connecting to feel the present. Releasing the grips in my body and mind that fear and pain cling to with all their might. Feeling the thoughts & body wanting to escape the discomfort & move past this moment. Attempting to move through the unease quickly and not giving yourself time to feel. Being here. Always where my two feet are planted. Breathing in the now without the loads of the past and worries of the future putting pressure from living here. The yoga reminds me to listen to what my body needs to thrive & love. Mindfully experiencing life & appreciating all the moments we have from a place of being grounded. #nourishment #yoga
I MOVE// This new way of living; I call writing my own story. Begins with my self-love practice becoming amplified. So much space becomes created when you remove things in your life that no longer fill every cell of your body with pure joy & fulfillment. Your energy is not being endlessly drained. You begin again each day. Realizing the value of yourself. Making decisions based on what you believe is for you. Becoming the leader of your life. Working on becoming more. Whatever that may be. #selflove
TRUSTING | BECOMING Trusting in your surroundings. In the lessons in every experience. Guidance coming to you in forms that you need to be aware to see. Feeling in your skin, listening to your soul, & trusting in yourself. Taking the much needed time for self-reflection. Understanding what healing & trusting can feel like. Each opportunity, interaction, set back, frustration & tears were fully felt. It is WORK to be happy. To stay stuck & miserable is easy. Numbing & avoiding feelings are always the most chosen option. But I chose to do the work to release. To trust in myself today & every day. Listening to my gut. Doing what makes me feel happy each & every day. Not wasting my time on situations, relationships or things that no longer made me feel like my truest self. I was learning how to love myself fully. Surrounding myself with only true love that reciprocates, & supports. No longer wasting energy. I worked on giving my body what it craved & needed. Be it solitude. Writing. Movement. Art. Knowing the love that is within me. The love that I deserve to surround myself with. Learning the value of my work, my words, my art, & me. Fully knowing what empowerment of women feels like & how I received it outside of the walls that used the word as a catch phrase. I’ve completed a 180 of who I was. My happiness, my worth, my hopes. I stopped walking around the perimeter of the woman I wanted to be, & decided to fully plunge. Discovering parts about myself I never knew existed. Staying curious. Feeling the strong draw to locations to experience growing out my comfort zone. Trusting in what I feel, the guidance & the direction I am led to. I evolved. I transformed. I became. I am smitten with my life. Fully and totally infatuated with each day. Here in my body feeling all that is brought up. Facing them from a place of being fully present. Living a life created for me by me to be the most me. I am writing my own story. #trusting #becoming
SELF LOVE | EVOLVING I began removing things in my life that weren’t bringing me happiness. It started with alcohol as my new year’s resolution. It was no longer something my body & self enjoyed anymore. Once the fog began to dissipate from my brain, my creativity started to flow more freely & my energy levels increased. Quitting something that is such a cultural norm & coming from a famous partying college, no one believed I could. I knew I was able to & had to for myself. Insecurities, fears, & pains that had been buried with long nights out could not be avoided anymore. I had to start to face the demons as they appeared. Anxieties & pain were resurfacing as I became triggered. Instead of avoiding, I wanted to learn the root of the reaction. Which helped me release the grip that the fearful stories held. One day at a time we are all transforming. I listened each day. My toxic relationship had to fully end. Knowing we weren’t meant for each other but continuing on thinking that this is what we deserved created so much anxiety within me. It took many a panic attack for me to realize I would rather be single forever than call this love. I made a promise to myself the day I broke up with him that I would fall in love with myself. I marked a year in my phone to be fully single. No booze induced ways to cope. Feeling all the feelings. Trying all forms of self care & realizing my worth for the first time. Falling more in love with my surroundings, friends & myself. Able to give myself the love I never received because I was always giving it out to others that never reciprocated. My energy was able to be given to me. My hip pain started to subside and days began existing where I no longer felt pain anymore. Months went by where I didn’t cry anymore. I was focusing on being my best and happiest self for me. I finally got a job as a designer. Something I had worked for years to get. From the first day I knew this was not a company I felt aligned with. I dreamt about leaving the job every single day for a year. Working for a company that sought out to tear women down instead of empower created this force within me.
OVERCOMING | TRANSFORMING I had spent so much time wasted going against the current of myself. Physical pain, intense anxiety, exhaustion & numerous days filled with tears. Toxic habits to numb. Relationships to take focus off of my inner challenges. Jobs that I felt no growth or progress of my dreams happening. I felt so far from myself that I could barely spend time alone in fear of the person I would meet in the silence of my thoughts. I ignored my gut instincts until I couldn’t anymore. I no longer wanted to hide from my true self. I began listening to my souls cries to return to happiness. Trusting fully in your intuition is a strenuous journey when you have spent so much time not listening to it. I had built fearful walls that held me in. Overcoming the judgements, fears, the “shoulds”, chronic pain & crippling anxiety was part of the transformation. After realizing the root was fear, I started to shift my perspective to love. Trusting my intuition, light was able to come through for me to be able to fully see & learn. I began knowing what I needed to transform. Speaking my truth & knowing my self even more, my intuition strengthened. I had chronic leg and hip pain for 2 years that limited the amount of activity my body could endure. My yoga practice became the only form of movement I was able to give my body. After seeing doctors, going through MRIs & physical therapy that wouldn’t subdue the pain. I decided I needed to learn more about my body. I went into the heart of the rain forest in Costa Rica to become a yoga teacher. Learning about my mind, body, & soul; and the connection with the three. Overcoming and learning about myself in a way I never expected. Releasing the grip that fear held on my heart. Learning that the pain came from my psoas major which is a fight or flight muscle. Inflammation over time had grown around it radiating the pain down my leg. Our hips are where we store our pain, trauma & fears. My teacher at training had written an entire book about this specific muscle! The universe had sent me in her direction to learn.