Because that’s how we roll on a #snowday. 🎄☃️❄️ . . #jeep #jeeplife #letitsnow #winterwonderland #toddlerlife #optoutside #letthembelittle
It was one of those days. We just needed to get out of the house. Yes, it was also 22 degrees outside and flurrying. I love that we have cool places to explore in our area on these chilly days and we basically had the entire place to ourselves! I also love how #hikeitbaby toughened me up to winter. Gone are the days of staying inside for three months begging for spring. As @libertyladymk likes to say “there is no bad weather, only bad gear!” Bring on the snow! 🎄❄️☃️💪🏼
Last night I told a friend that I had a knot in my stomach while preparing the paperwork for my appointment today. I have so many questions about what happened and I didn’t even know what it was I needed to hear from my surgeon and what exactly I hoped to walk away with. More details? That she remembers me two years later? Then it dawned on me: I want peace. . Needless to say, peace is a process and it’s likely a very long one. As I sat in my hospital gown in the exam room waiting for her to come in, I did my best to temper my expectations so I wouldn’t leave disappointed. . “She sees so many patients each day; she won’t remember me.” . “She’s a doctor, not a therapist! Don’t overthink this interaction.” . Well, all of that went out the window the second she smiled and said “How have you been? How’s your son? I still have your picture on my wall.” Turns out surgeons remember the near-misses. . She provided some new details I didn’t know, had a lot of thoughtful insight into my current hematology issue and offered a whole lot of support. She acknowledged that this heaviness and grief I feel will change over time but it will always stay with me long after my son is grown. I stopped her at one point just to thank her for helping me live and for making sure my son grows up with a mom. She told me how she’ll never forget the look on my husband’s face that day. We both teared up. This could have ended so differently for us. . In addition to all of the medical stuff, I asked her how I can help the Safe Motherhood Initiative in our state and she was thrilled I wanted to get involved. I invited her to the January blood drive and she immediately hung the posters around the office and even took one for the clinic. . I needed this. All of it. I can’t tell you what it means to talk to someone who really gets it! And even better, she’s connecting all the dots medically. She also understands that this broader maternal health fight is so very personal. I may not have gotten peace today but it solidified at least one purpose out of all of this mess: I get to help the new moms that come after me be survivors too. And that’s close enough for now.
I don’t know exactly when I became one of those people who process hardships outwardly. Truth be told, I’ve been the opposite of that pretty much my entire life. But God keeps telling me to be transparent about the near-miss stuff, to be real, warts and all. I suppose that’s a good thing because I can’t imagine I would be very effective at raising awareness about the maternal health crisis in the US if I’m not willing to be an open book about all of the struggles that come along with it. It’s not easy and it sure is uncomfortable at times. But God knows I want to help the moms who come after me and if this is the first step in doing that, I will gladly take it. . What is God calling you to do? It could be big but it doesn’t always have to push you far outside of your comfort zone either. It could literally be connecting those two friends going through the same thing. Sending that card. Making that phone call. Taking someone a meal. . Whatever it is, answer the call. You won’t be sorry you did. . .Whoever refreshes others will also be refreshed. (Proverbs 11:25)
Well, today is the day I am finally meeting with my surgeon after two years in hopes of getting some more answers. I decided to start seeing her regularly since she led the team of doctors that patched me back together. She also knows my future risks and inner workings better than anyone. Somehow that gives me a bit of relief moving forward. I’ve been writing down questions for months (years?) and after the transfusion complications that surfaced earlier this year, I’m hoping (praying) this appointment is the next piece in the puzzle and provides some added peace. This might sound ridiculous to some of you but the heaviness of a near-miss reverberates long after the physical emergency is over. I don’t think it ever really goes away. There are so many questions about why it happened, so many “what ifs” and for many women the complications don’t end on discharge day. Just seeing her walk down the hallway as I wait brings so much to the surface... I just want to give her a hug and say ‘thank you for helping me live!”
We got more of the white stuff this morning. Will we have a white Christmas this year??!? 🎄☃️❄️ . . #christmas #letitsnow #winterwonderland #snow
He humors me. 😘 #datenight
I mean, come on! Was our snowy date night a scene straight out of a certain Christmas themed movie starring Sandra Bullock??!? I’ll give some hints: yes, he was leaning and yes, we still quote Mr. Joe Fusco, Jr. in normal conversation this many years later. 😂 Ten points if you can name the flick I’m thinking of! 🎄☃️❄️😉
Waiting on God? Us too. Sometimes our prayers are answered quickly and other times it feels like it’s taking forever. It can be discouraging when the wait is longer than we expect (and even excruciating depending on what it is! Looking at you, #ttccommunity ) Rest assured that God sees and hears you, that His delays aren’t necessarily denials and He might be using this season of waiting to fortify your faith. Keep hoping. Keep trusting. Keep praying.