I’ve had a very healing day today reflecting on my life, what it used to be, and where I am now. Three years ago I was 21 and living in a single student bedroom with my then boyfriend. At that time I’d recently dropped out of my compulsory year abroad at uni and, as a language student, my degree was hanging in the balance. I felt like a failure, and with no friends, family or support network within reach, besides this boyfriend - with whom my relationship was fraught and tumultuous at the best of times - I felt profoundly alone. I had a lot of unhealed and unacknowledged trauma, felt incredibly intense self-loathing and was generally in a lot of emotional pain that I had no idea how to begin to process or deal with. It’s been a difficult and meandering journey, but three years later I’m regularly overcome by just how different things are for me compared to that summer in 2016 and the years that preceded it. Now, at 24, I live on the other side of the country and am two years into a job that in that time has imbued me with confidence and purpose. Said boyfriend and I have long gone our separate ways - in the best interests of both of us - and I’m grateful to be instead surrounded by an ever-growing network of kind and supportive colleagues and friends, in a home where I feel comfortable and safe. Above all though, I’m grateful to myself for one day deciding that I deserved to heal, and for choosing to set that process in motion. If any of the above resonates with you, please know that you deserve this too! Regardless of what past experiences or shame you may be carrying around with you, know that you 👏🏻 deserve 👏🏻 to 👏🏻 be 👏🏻 seen, and you’re worthy of love, acceptance, kindness and respect 💗 I’m very privileged to have access to a therapist to help me through this process, though I’m well aware this isn’t an option for everyone. If it is for you, I’d highly recommend it. If not, some other things I find helpful day-to-day include: • Instagram resources incl @lisaoliveratherapy, @the.holistic.psychologist, @sitwithwhit. • Gratitude journaling • Guided meditation (Headspace is my favourite for this) • Yoga (especially with @adrienelouise!) 🧘🏼♀️
‘London, thou art the flower of cities all!’ // William Dunbar 🌻 So happy it’s finally FRIDAY! 🙌🏻 I’m looking forward to catching up with an old friend in London tomorrow, and hopefully having a mooch around a few of the markets! What are your plans for the weekend?
‘Listen. Are you breathing just a little and calling it a life?’ // Mary Oliver
Can we just have summer back now please? 🙏🏻🌿🌸
Just a little throwback to when I stayed at an Airbnb in Slad and it turned out to have an unexpected view of Laurie Lee’s house from ‘Cider with Rosie’ out of the window 🌻✨
‘If it costs you your peace, it’s too expensive’ ✌🏻💫
‘To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.’ - C.S. Lewis | #thoughtoftheday 💭
Stills from a magical weekend 🌿🌷