The last of autumn, bleeding into watercolored haze.
As the month draws to a close 🍂
We had a bit of a scare with little one the other day. I don’t know what happened. A small dog charged at her when she was outside with my grandma. Gran picked her up before anything could happen, but when she put her back down to go potty, she just fell over. She picked her up to bring her in, and she was totally limp in her arms. I honest to God thought she was dead. I immediately burst into tears and started saying, “no, no, no” but it turned out she was okay—or alive, at any rate. I’m always keenly aware of her age. She just turned sixteen in September, which is above average for her breed. I know she won’t live forever, but of course, the knowledge of that doesn’t ease the inevitable pain that her loss—or even the thought of it—brings. I love her more than words. We’ve been together for over half of my life—she’s like a limb at this point, and when she goes, a piece of my heart will go with her. But feeling like I’d lost her was a keen reminder to love her with everything I have, be grateful for every precious minute that I get with her, and to document it a little better so I can look back on it when she’s gone. I take pictures of her like crazy, but not many videos—but the things I desperately want to keep of her, they can’t be conveyed in still images: her playfulness, her easy tolerance of my unyielding affection (shown here), her mannerisms... the things that make her, her. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ A few years ago when I almost lost her, it seemed natural to me that I’d immediately go out and get another puppy to ease the pain. Now, I’ve grown enough to know that the only thing that is going to heal it is time. The thought of having another so soon after her is nearly unbearable, because I know that no other dog will ever be exactly like her, will ever be able to touch the permanent impression that she’s made on my heart. We click so well because we’ve grown up together. I know her language and she’s loved me through all my phases. I know I won’t have her forever, but I hope that she knows how absolutely loved she is by me.
Even the airports are feeling the spirit. 🌟
The personification of Autumn 🍁
And just like that the leaves are gone, and the barren beauty of winter is moving in to take their place.
Um I’m gonna need this surreal lighting to follow me around and make me look like a fairy 24/7 pls and thx