You say, Put your head under your feet. That way you rise through the stars And see a hundred other ways to be with me -Rumi . Finding the path to love is less about following emotions, and more about taking actions . 'Put you head under your feet'... dreamy poetry . #ayearofgratitude #ayearofgratefulprivilege #letswordthisbetter #fuckprivilege #actonlove
Adventure anyone? The biggest one you'll ever go on is learning who you are, what makes you tick and how you see the world. Then learning how to live without black and white anymore. Certainties are for the scaredy cats who stayed at home . #ayearofgratitude #ayearofgratefulprivilege #actually #letswordthisbetter #fuckprivilege 📸 #docmartens
We often forget that culture can't fundamentally change human nature. We all want to be loved, to belong, to feel safe and to feel like there's purpose to what we do. We just might express it differently. But we are all human . That's a really comforting thought when you are experiencing major culture clash - despite the pain and frustration, you are both still just people driven by the same human nature . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude 📸 #barossa #peterlehmann
I hope everyone had beautiful Saturdays full of friends, family and really satisfying sporting wins... I love how sport brings everyone together for that one moment where we all focus on the same goal 🏆 . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude 📸 #kangarooisland #admiralsarch
Words loosely inspired by Shams Tabriz: If you could lift up the things we deem sacred and take them out of the world, you would see that all we have been praying to was the divine glory in each other . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude 📸 #sunset #kangarooisland
1/1 #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude 📸 #fireplace
I'm finding it hard to put words to this journey lately - that's the thing about all of this. Sometimes the words flow and they feel sincere and right. Other times the words struggle to form, they don't feel enough, any words at all feel tokenistic. So I'm going to try to keep posting because I'm definitely still contemplating white privilege (and experiencing it) every day - but I may not have much to say . I've got plenty of pictures though, and they say an awful lot about beauty and joy and connection without any words at all . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude 📸#kangarooisland #sealbay
There's so much beauty in contrast. How bland would our world be without the light and dark?
Before invasion, Aboriginal families were healthy and strong, there was law, medicine, philosophy, spirituality, the arts, cuisine, sustainability, and community. There was nothing lacking . In just over 200 years, colonisation has doggedly worked to dismantle a way of life that worked for well over 2000 years. And some 50 years ago, part of that dismantling was stealing children from Aboriginal families . I want to join the voices who say sorry for these atrocities, and wish nothing but healing and love for our Nation's First People. May we each know 1/100th of the determination, fierce strength, survival and spirit that is required of our Aboriginal brothers and sisters who constantly face the grief, injustice and collective trauma that is our country's story . I don't quite know how to sign this one off, so I'll just say that although I find today uncomfortable to talk about because I feel like today isn't the day for my voice - it also is the day for my voice, because it's the time for all of us to acknowledge our past and present. And for people who struggle to see the relevance of this day for them, I think it's important to remember that making things right in this space is the foundation for getting lots of things right for all Australians . Screen hug 🤗
Ohhhh lawd I just laughed up a lung. Jo Koy is the funniest dude and brings so much awesome comedy about being a half Philippine, half white guy in the US. If you're keen for a serious laugh-until-headache-belly-workout, check out his stand up on Netflix. Just - yas! 🙌
Mates rates - when was the last time you got a discounted deal from a friend or family member? If I added up the advantage of every little leg up from my networks, it's pretty easy to see how I can live such a starkly different standard of life to minorities who don't have the same networks. Networks are built from long histories in places, relatives, access to institutions like schools and just from being around the same location. Which is not to say minorities don't have wonderful networks and connections to communities - but beyond the butcher, baker and candlestick maker, do their networks also include the lawyer, the politician and the plumber? Maybe yes, but definitely not as frequently and with as easy access to power structures as people in the mainstream.
Happy Mother's Day. And a big mention to all the mummas raising their babies in different cultures, different languages and different worlds to their own. The dedication to their families, and the isolation they often face is just incredible. Lots of love to all the fierce mummas out there raising culture strong babies with love and determination.
Eurovision is just a riot - and Isaiah made me so happy. Go for gold! It also tickles me that every person that has represented Australia so far at Eurovision isn't Caucasian. And I absolutely adore that our representative this year is an young, incredibly talented Aboriginal man. Tuning into the grand final tomorrow night!
You know what really grinds my gears? When people take on philosophies and religions and spiritualities and whatever else that they pick and choose from to take as their own... except they just take the stuff that suits them and make no personal sacrifice or social discomfort or cultural clash in order to practice their new beliefs - mostly because they are attracted to it as a fashionable thing that they associate with an exotic people. Usually it's white people dipping into Asian cultures for some Eastern perspective. Eat Pray Love etc . Except people are people. No-one is really exotic - you have to dehumanise someone and turn them into a caricature for them to remain exotic. And by making certain peoples or cultures exotic and fashionable, it makes other ones unfashionable - maybe even detestable . And by taking just what serves but not actually learning the whole culture and everything that goes around it in a society, I think it totally silences the real stories. People seeking these Eastern perspectives want to hear the lovely stuff - the tree in the wood clapping stuff. But they're not really hoping to hear the whole story because that would ruin the exotic illusion . And then you end up with these enclaves in Western society who all believe they are enlightened and so enriched with cultural experiences - except they are all hanging out as a group of white people! They aren't creating safe spaces for POC because they never really connected with POC beyond a particular exotic and fashionable message they sought in the first place . So basically, I just get really peeved at things like yoga teachers who list off all the wonderful things about how Asians are so much more enlightened about living a slower lifestyle. Bitch please, live in somewhere like Singapore and talk to me about slow lifestyles in Asia haha! Get beyond the exotic and connect to real people living real lives and learn a far more wonderful message - that we are all humans! Every single one of us wants to be loved. We all have a story. We all get morning breath . By being willing to actually be challenged and to get uncomfortable and to get it wrong sometimes, we can make true connections.
Counting down the days until Master of None season 2. It's a particular kind of magic seeing your stories told. The relationship between Rachel and Dev in season 1 was just such a spot on depiction, Ri and I had so many times where we just looked at each other and laughed, like Yes! That's so us! How wonderful is this age of storytelling that is more diverse than ever?!
Today two people in my spheres of life have had deaths occur in their families. Life is just so fucking precious. The more I learn about the world and the walks of life for all sorts of people on this earth, it still only makes sense to me to spend our short time living with love, wonder and gratitude. I'm not saying be happy all the time, or lean back from the hard yakka - I just think if the motivation for our actions isn't love, wonder or gratitude, we be wasting our time! This is a little over simplified, yes, but still worth thinking about from time to time as things like anger, frustration, and fear creep into our daily existence. Reading the news wakes those emotions up for me in 10 minutes - and then I have to get to living the life I actually want to live...
The hardest thing about facing into white privilege, or learning to talk about racism, is realising that lots of times you will get it wrong and look like a fool (and feel on the inside like you want to shrivel up and die). I certainly had a bash at being a right douche after a few drinks - I decided I wanted to talk about a certain topic with some POC friends. Afterwards I cringed so hard thinking about these lovely women just trying to have a good time, talk shit, have fun - and here comes the white crusader who needs to nut out her issues on racism... ugh... that was not my finest hour . Practicing kindness to myself after these clangers is the only way I will survive. To all of you on your journeys with white privilege, may you be fearless and brave as you face new trials, and kind and calm as you face yet another error. When it comes to change, I like to remember it's always far easier to love someone who is trying and getting it wrong, than someone who doesn't try at all ❤️
So... Singaporean TV got fined a few thousand dollars for producing some content with blackface. Very light slap on the wrist for something that is just so flipping atrocious . What I don't get though is, how did it happen in the first place?! How did no-one in that whole production think that it wasn't a problem? Or did someone think it was a problem but didn't say something? Or did they say something and get ignored by the leadership? Answers we will never know - but when I see such tone-deaf stuff happening in an organisation, it makes me wonder about a whole manner of things. It certainly doesn't indicate a healthy culture, because either someone hasn't been recruited or is silenced or is ignored for that kind of toxic culture to flourish. Because hey presto - the organisation not only conceives the idea but actually ends up making content with blackface and thinks it's ok...
Today a dude told me political correctness has gone too far and illustrated it with a story of his mate getting offended by his feedback on a new product he had made and that he needs to harden up . 1. Who gives a fuck about political correctness - it's not about what you can and can't say people! It's about speaking with respect and openness - if you say particular things it's pretty clear there's no respect, hence easy blanket rules like 'political correctness' of what not to say. But if you earnestly are speaking with respect and checked privilege, even if you say the wrong words, there's at least the right intent and a willingness to learn . 2. Let's not confuse political correctness, which often refers to discrimination, with bruised egos that are receiving legitimate feedback. Neither is a licence for each other - i.e. The refusal to take any feedback because of a constant threat it will be offensive to you, or the refusal to be sensitive to discrimination because you are compelled to give your opinion . 3. Nobody needs to harden up over political correctness except the people who feel restricted by not getting to air their hate . 4. Get some love in your life. If you are angry at people getting offended, I think you're probably angry about a lot of stuff a lot of the time. Dude. Life is short.
Have you seen Dear White People yet? It's just hit Netflix and seriously, it is So.Damn.Good!
A year of grateful privilege is one third finished... it's been filled with wonderful friends, good food and a pretty incredible lifestyle courtesy of Adelaide. I am just so damn grateful to be living and feeling loved. I am so grateful to be around good people who share the good life with me. And I am beyond grateful for getting to celebrate 8 years with my best friend and partner in crime, who has brought my world into vivid technicolor, and who is an incredible example of facing challenge and adversity as he chases his dreams with strength, dignity and hope . I can't wait for May - it's easily the best time of year for falling in love, enjoying the change of seasons, and turning over a new leaf for an even better rest of the year
Diversity AND Inclusion AND Empowerment . What is the point of just having people present? Can you really count the diversity of a place if all of the decision makers are still MAWMINS (middle aged white men in suits)? Add some Inclusion and all of a sudden the people present actually belong - they can relax - they can bring their best versions of themselves, not their edited mainstream persona. FINALLY don't forget the empowerment. Share the insider secrets, identify the barriers, and make influence truly available in meaningful ways. People give a lot of talk to D, some thought to I and usually a fair bit of avoidance of E, but I think it takes all three at play to finally bury old organisational habits that contribute to systemic racism . Because it's the invisible shit that keeps systemic racism going - and unless there are the people that can see it, with the confidence to say something and the platform to make it heard, nothing will change! Oh yeah - and then the change actually needs to be made... but that's another post...
Love may make us blind, but can we all stop saying shit like we 'can't see colour' when we talk race? 😒 See it - celebrate it - love it - that's infinitely more powerful every damn time ❤️
Loved the TV show on Netflix that we binge watched last night - Bubblegum - it's hilarious! Took a few friends' recommendations to get me onto it though. Oh yes, it was in our recommended viewing list but I just never was attracted to it by the photo thumbnails. So I never clicked on it . The photos are of a black girl who is obviously quirky, off beat and rolling with it - she's not a polished lawyer in office couture, or from an exotic destination, or super model beautiful . Oh hello my unconscious bias that chose not to try out the TV show based on those photos - there you are 🙄
Culture lives and breathes - it's a system that functions like a human body. Interlinking, interdependent, and interwoven organs weave a culture with language, customs, arts, cuisine, land, society, and norms giving life to it . I think when you believe that about culture, it becomes very difficult to make judgements on what is good and bad, black and white. You can appreciate and marvel at the beautiful complexity, and understand that there aren't just easy changes or solutions to cultural challenges - you can't just start ripping organs out!
Nothing more awkward than learning someone has completely unapologetic racist views and being there with your POC partner. Like we're not leaving the party, but staying is just massively uncomfortable. It's shit . Something you don't realise you may be doing to the person you love the most when you start introducing them to your white friends - and what a privilege to never have to consider that as a possibility. Usually you just assume crowds are friendly when racism isn't a part of your daily existence . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude #diversity #power #racism #interracial #interracialcouple #whiteprivilege
Our bodies are the only thing that we will have our entire lives. Our personalities will change, the people around us will change, our likes, dislikes, talents, looks, tastes... it all changes. But always there is a body . So why fixate on the thing we can't change? Fall in love with the stuff that evolves and flows and stops and starts... and just accept the rest as some very exquisite packaging . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude #diversity #race #body #beauty #love #interracial #interracialcouple
White privilege is a lot like being a spoilt kid. Why would a kid see they are spoilt and work to limit this, when it works totally in their favour? The adults around can see how it erodes the child's character, limits their experience of the world, and ultimately detracts from their happiness . But how to get the spoilt child to see that & act on it? That's something I am pondering right now . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude #privilege #whiteprivilege #spoilt
What's it like being the only person of a different colour in the room? It's not an experience many of us actively seek - in fact, most people will avoid it. Case in point: when people see a restaurant full of one race that is different to them, they don't generally interpret that as a safe space to enter . If you are the racial majority choosing not to hang with other races, the accepted narrative tends to be about comfort - I just didn't feel comfortable. If you are the racial minority choosing not to hang with other races though, very quickly the narrative told by the majority is that of people not integrating - you know, those dangerous communities that stick to themselves and don't understand our way of life . Funny how that happens . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude #power #diversity #racism #inclusion #integration #comfort
Diversity is negotiation while remembering your position of power . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude #diversity #power
So the 'Coon' cheese argument with my POC hubbie was around the fact that this cheese brand still operates in Australia. I never even knew it was an offensive word until it was part of a Stephen K Amos' stand up act about how f'd up Australia is. Seriously, it was just a brand name to me, like Beqa or Palmolive . So I ask him if this brand bothers him - like it's not a big deal right? It's just some branding . Well what would you guess... he does find it offensive and thinks it's pretty outrageous it's still on supermarket shelves . So I get all defensive like it's just a stupid brand - it's not like 'crackers' are going to be called something else cos people use the word offensively yeahhh I'm totally winning in my mind at this point . Yeahhh no, he replies that's because it's about white people! The cheese isn't about white people! The cheese is about a minority living with this and not being heard Heh, yeah my argument just shat all over itself . And then I realised I was having an argument with my POC hubbie because of some white privilege bullshit that in my mind was telling me 'he should just be over this cheese brand thing' when fuck no, he can totally find the cheese thing whack, it IS whack . So for all interracial couples out there with a white partner, hats off to all the privilege barneys you guys have had to rumble through. They suck. They're hard to see when you're white, and lame to have to point out when you're the POC . #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude #interracial #relationships #argument #racism #cheese
There are universal fights between couples... the partner who lets their batshit crazy family intrude in their lives, the partner with hangups about money, the partner who complains about their job too much. It's an argument every couple knows the script for . But partners with a POC have a whole new world of arguments to get into. The one about 'Coon' cheese was a particular eye opener... I'll share how that went down tomorrow 👎🏻👎🏽 #ayearofgratefulprivilege #ayearofgratitude #couple #interracial #poc #argument #cheese