If men heard how many women orgasms, cherished in their memory as a prove of manhood, have been fake - the world would stop. All the influential men, who use power and wealth as a penis extender, will cry in corners, curled as a shrimp. When I say this line in a room full of women over 25 – we all have a laugh. We all know what this is about. Some men laugh too. Most answer with “I’ve never experienced that!” and “I don’t get it! Why would women do that?” Sexual revolution of the 60ies was not for women – it allowed Mic Jaggaer’s of the world to have sex out of wedlock out in the open and to be praised for his virility. For the women it meant that now we also had to fake convulsions of joy with all those men going at you, like they are poking a jar of mayonnaise, only to be called horny sluts afterwards. Most cis men take it as a knife to the heart. But have some empathy. It is not the easiest thing to be a woman in the society where an average man experiences pornography every single day – a world, where women have no emotions, have never been raped, have never been heartbroken. Women with pussies ever plucked, brains ever empty, mouths ever open. It is also not the easiest thing to navigate in the modern world, where sex today doesn’t necessarily means greeting each other on the street tomorrow. So being super excited about someone and being with him for the first time, and wishing for a next time to happen, often means being afraid to tell him that his moves aren’t doing it for you, or his licking is causing more pain than pleasure. Why afraid? Because, believe me, we tried to tell – and the answer was “Well, you’re frigid. Other girls come with me like that “. So we fake the joy even through the pain, either because this is just hopeless, or we hope for another time to tell him what can be done better. In my Q&A (in highlights) I’ve been asked the one simple thing we all can do to advance the cause of feminism. If it has to be just one thing – stop faking orgasms. Feminine sexual energy is one of the biggest forces in the world. Don’t waist it giving fuckbois the impression they pleased you.
Who else had to buy a bigger pair of pants after the holidays 😅?
My very approachable vegetable surrounded by inaccessible shapes.
The Fierce Kween Shoshani 🐆👑 We are thankful to @marloe.jr for gifting us this beautiful set 😍. I try, as much as possible, to only dress Shosh in sustainable fashion, and it is such a joy to support a brand that combines sustainability with my fashion aspiration (hello mini-turban😍).
My husband and I argued today. “Look, there are female Warhammer warriors”- he showed me pictures of the figurines. “I think, it’s appalling”- I answered. “But why, isn’t this equality?”- he asked. Because, I answered, we are talking about a fantasy universe entirely created by men. A concept of fighting aggression with aggression and destroying evil with weapons and war. A boardgame that, I think, can do a lot of good by letting people (mostly men) outlive their aggression in a civilized manner. Writing images of women into that concept, who had no say in it, is not perusing equality. It’s still a bunch of men writing how they think women should behave and look. And they are not getting it apparently: I don’t know any women soldiers, who wish they were wearing a corset, armor with two boobs sticking out, or high heels, whilst in combat… It is upsetting, because it’s just a metaphor for the real world, where every concept, system and institution was created exclusively by male thinkers. In the course of the 20th century following men wiping each other out in two most horrible wars in history, SOME women were let to work and vote. However, this “equality” was caused by the need for workers on the line, not by the wish to let women in on professions, where they would be able to make a difference. Power, capital, thought. When allowed into these institutions, we must adopt accordingly. And when we do, we are blamed for not being feminine enough, just like Hillary Rodham Clinton got constantly blamed for employing tough and masculine rhetoric – while, of cause, her husband was praised for his inclusion of feminine rhetoric in his speeches. So, no. Making female figurines forced to navigate in a male-made world is not equality. Making half of your writers and artists women IS.
M♡therhood Shosh and I are wearing @marliesdekkersofficial
Some can say the most innocent things and it will feel as if I’ve been emerged in a vat of waste. Some can tell me a-n-y-t-h-i-n-g and it would remain a compliment. There are the self-explanatory once: The words of admiration for me, that just as well could’ve been an ode to food or furniture. The once that claim ownership over me, as in “My dear….” from a stranger. The once that are a mere initiation of contact, where his facial expression gives out him expecting my mouth to burst with a cascade of gratitude in return. The great marker of those “compliments”, especially the written once, is the tantrum that inevitably comes in case I don’t answer – the malice of not being able to buy my time by stating he likes me. The once coming from people holding machine guns or confederate flags in a racist context, because it hurts to know that any part of me can be appealing to people spreading death and hatred. And then there’s a different reaction to same words. Whether you intend it or not, whether you’re able to understand it or not – our historico-cultural context is always there. For centuries the whole essence of being a woman was reduced to sexuality. That concept has two outcomes: it became crucial for a woman to be attractive enough, for a good marriage determined everything. And beauty became an exaggerated part of this attractiveness in the age when women weren’t even allowed to read Bible. It also became crucial not to be too attractive – for should one attract the wrong men to do the wrong things - and one would suffer repercussions enforced by law. That made women’s very livelihood be determined by men’s reaction to them. And of though we know so much better now, our culture wasn’t invented yesterday, and so much in it learns boys to grow up with a feeling of entitlement to be the judge of women’s looks. To think that we are all just sitting on the edge of the chair and expecting to hear your grade: good, not good enough, too much of the goodness. The intent behind any compliment is what matters. An intelligent woman never seeks the feeling of a potential property on a life-long auction.
The mood of January 1 #olafthefeministcat
Almost crying of happiness in the train rushing me towards the New Year with my husband, who so sensibly arranged for this last week to be a writing vacation for me. Any creator will recodnize this painfull and extatic relief of knowing you've created that, which your soul was purposed to create. #hverdagsmagi