I used to run a 500-member private group for creative introverts called The Pack. I’d make videos like this, and share things related to self care, mental health, and marketing as an independent artist. Ever since I closed the group down, I’ve ironically caught myself slipping into a mental space where I feel like I have less answers. It’s almost as though helping others like myself, somehow allowed me to help myself, too. So recently I’ve been feeling really bad about Instagram numbers dwindling. 15,000 followers, with a maximum of 400 likes on an image? It’s enough to make your inner critic sound just a little bit louder. Numbers don’t matter, but for a person who values the truth - it can make one wonder whether perhaps their work isn’t that great. 🤷🏽♀️ Today I realised I had become far too caught up with instagram because of using it as a marketing tool. The marketing tool became the content focus - which never ends well. I hope my musings serve you like they served me. Who knows, maybe a revival of the Pack is overdue. 🤷🏽♀️
I found a whole bunch of four year old portraits on my hard drive today. Completely unedited. Completely worth sharing. I think I took this one on a moving bus... I have a habit of taking really great photos from inside a moving vehicle, apparently. It got me thinking about how hard we are on ourselves. How we forget that we are really great at something. How it’s important to take time to reflect on our wins so that we can remind ourselves that we aren’t as much of a failure as our inner critic likes to tell us we are. I’d like to invite you to take a moment today to look back at your past wins, and celebrate them. Honour the fact that you’ve grown, that every step forward in your process is progress, that 365 baby steps could mean crossing borders in the span of a year. You might be surprised at how far you’ve come.
We hold on to the weight of opinions that belong to people who never truly cared about our wellbeing. We spend so much time and energy trying to please those who never did the same in return. I am humbled today by the Realisation that every single person I thought I owed something to, was somebody who had very little actual concern for my wellbeing. I carried the weight of their entitlement and expectations - and never stopped to think about whether the energy exchange was fair. Perhaps, then, it’s important for us to look at true friendship as a space that has no room for guilt. Anybody who responds to your truth of the moment with disappointment or entitlement - was never a friend to begin with. Anyone who evokes guilt for the natural cycle of life that has you ebbing and flowing, may not really deserve to swim along your shore. Perhaps the very fact that guilt appears - is a red flag in itself. Something to think about.
I spoke about spiritual elitism in my story today because I am absolutely tired of the veiled exclusion and subtle bullying that I’m witnessing on online spaces and accounts. It’s akin to white-only spaces - not surprisingly, I’ve only seen it done by privileged spiritual leaders - and I’m here to remind you of the following: . • Anyone who makes you feel like your knowledge or awareness on your spiritual journey isn’t advanced enough, is deeply problematic - and probably not a credible source. . • Any account that uses jargon as a means of identifying as more awakened/woke than others - and speaks of “helping” others who have shown no sign of wanting said help - is a space riddled with problematic characters who haven’t looked in the mirror in a very long time. It stems from a DEEP desire to feel special and different - you are not missing out if you find this unrelatable. . • We may be spiritual beings, but we are living a human experience. Do NOT let anybody shame you for a) being in a different mental space b) having a different opinion if it is harmless, c) knowing/understanding less, d) having feelings that aren’t “positive”, e) choosing a path that differs from theirs. . • The only correct path for a person is the one they’ve chosen. . • Equally, there is not one living person who is correct all the time - even this post may be completely wrong for you, or perhaps my entire message doesn’t resonate. That is ok - I am aware that while I may feel like I know things, essentially: I really know nothing. I am flawed - but simply trying to share what feels true for me. . • HISTORICALLY SPEAKING, the most (spiritually) enlightened people have been accepting, kind, and inclusive/accessible in their language and behaviour. You know... their spiritual wisdom makes them so happy that they end up embodying pure love...? . But what do I know? I’m not woke, bro. 🤷🏽♀️ . . “Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits.”
“So I knew that being present was a good thing, but I only knew this because someone had told me so. And if you’re not careful, you’ll end up building an entire set of rules about what’s good for you, based on what someone told you - without actually understanding the adult practicality or logic behind it. I often say that we grow up in emotional and physical ways, but forget to change our minds on things we decided as children. We hold on to morals and ideas that seemed logical to an undeveloped mind, and then wonder why something within us doesn’t quite feel aligned. [..] We spend so much time and energy on wishing for love but only half as much giving ourselves the courtesy, time, acknowledgment, and respect that we truly deserve.” . . Some excerpts from a new Medium post I’m working on. Picture taken of the celestial @theremustbemorelight in Brooklyn.