Everytime I speak out about being Asian, I am thoroughly exhausted. It’s exhausting to have to justify why something is racist before even getting to your point. Let’s call it what it is. There isn’t enough awareness about the racism Asians face. Asian jokes are still widely accepted and highly offensive characters like Apu in the Simpson’s still exist ( PS he is voiced by a white guy) Anytime I talk about Asian issues I feel alone. There aren’t enough of us so let me share my experiences being online in November alone: - I spoke out about Gigi Hadid slanting her eyes and mimicking Buddha. Got told she was mocking a doll and making something out of nothing - She got banned from the VS show for it. Vanity fair’s title was “Chinese government giving VS headaches”. Got told I was being pedantic about words - I spoke up in my book club about how a popular body positive icon had a history of racist comments and I didn’t feel comfortable making it the book of the month as a woman of colour. I got told that I was pulling the race card and everyone else in the book club was cowardly for allowing me to bully them - I’ve repeatedly told on @bodypositivememes when I upload thumbnails of my YouTube video that they thought I was white and didn’t want to follow me anymore (that was put a lot more politely than they wrote it) - I got told a number of times by fellow influencers that I’m a white thin activist who needs to listen to WOC. White is not an insult but in that context it implies that I am not a WOC myself. They are not mutually exclusive + erases half my identity + ignores that I am a size 20. - I spoke about how Asians were WOC too and was told on Twitter that I should stop making shit up and yellow wasn’t a colour - Yesterday got told on Bumble that aren’t Asians meant to be submissive I am done. I am tired. I am a woman of colour and I am white. Being mixed race makes me inherently feel not enough of one and not enough of another. Stop erasing half of my identity. I am fully aware that my page for some of you will be your only representation that you’ve ever seen of a fat Asian woman and I do the best I can with that responsibility. That’s all.
I have been absolutely hating the gym. So much so, I can’t even face going to the gym to go to my dance class so you know what I’ve been doing instead? Walking... a lot. And dancing, at home, alone. I LOVE dancing , always have. I don’t care that I can’t actually dance and I don’t care that I look like a goofball because I have so much damn fun! Who said you had to be good at something to enjoy it? The best songs are the ones which are seriously empowering! This one is by Jadagrace and it’s called “My Rules” and Jadagrace is about female empowerment, just as much as her song is. I found this song through Grey’s Anatomy @greysabc (you all know it’s my thing! That and anything @shondarhimes) and the lyric “my body, my rules” totally got my attention for very obvious reasons. I’m all about lyrics, it’s an instant mood booster and helps remind me of my purpose. It’s literal proof that you don’t need to work in body positivity to create change, using your craft to send a message is just as needed! So yes to more empowered women, you go Jadagrace @jadagrace #MyBodyMyRules #Ad
Let’s talk about the fact that somehow my DMs are filled with questions about your boyfriends. They include the following: - My boyfriend hates body positivity, help! - My boyfriend doesn’t want me to be body positive, help! - How can I get my boyfriend to be more body positive? - How can I get my boyfriend to stop body shaming me? I answer all these questions in my latest video. The link to my YouTube is in my stories. Give it a watch 💙 #ScarredNotScared
Look who got to be a part of the wonderful new @self.love.brings.beauty last week!! 😍 Got to meet @felicityhayward who is just as badass in person as she seems online and got to model with one of my longtime idols @itskellyknox ! There were truly so many special people a part of this shoot: @emi.sklm @fattyboomtatty @joannedion_ @bxsqui @hypnokids @prettybigbutterflies @loisorchard @kshaniatee @demonteflannigan • I CAN’T WAIT TIL YOU SEE THE FINAL PICTURES OF THE NEW #SelfLoveBringsBeautyGang IN TWO DAYS IN @noctismagazine #SelfLoveBringsBeauty • Music: @romefortune Film: @stringertv Makeup: @urbandecaycosmetics @levijadetaylor Hair: @blowltd
My 12 year old dream is coming true and I have not stopped crying. Thanks for all the love over the last 24 hours. I thought you would love to see where this book came from. Swipe right 👉🏽 • It obviously needed a title change (since I’ve now had 15) and an update, it’s 8x as long now but the bare bones was there, 12 years ago. I’m so so grateful for each and every one of you for being in my joy with me 😁 I’m getting to every single comment slowly, but if I haven’t reached yours yet. I can’t tell you how thankful I am #ScarredNotScared #AmIUgly
I can't believe the day has finally come to announce I'VE WRITTEN A BOOK! It's going to be out in July 2018 and is being published by Anima at Head of Zeus @headofzeus . I am absolutely over the moon. To say this is a lifelong dream is an understatement. I started writing this book at 12. I'm not actually joking, my dad even had it printed with a hardback cover in an attempt to convince me to publish it for real. 12 years ago, I wasn't ready. I thought my story was not interesting enough and that no one cared what I had to say. Very frankly, I thought my writing was shit. It was only when I was hospitalised when I was 19 did I really start to take that dream seriously, and after two years of writing and deleting, I made a decision at 21, to stop deleting anything. Needless to say it's been a long road. I needed to make a fancy all professional video announcing it but me, being me, instead you get a video of me sobbing so head to my YouTube channel to hear more about how all of this became a reality. It is a memoir and takes you step by step through each of my surgeries, and then into recovery. Everything I have written about in the book are stories you won't have heard. I talk about everything from disordered eating, being body shamed by my teachers, how I learnt how to talk about my scars, how I faced these inecurities in the bedroom, what it's like to have PTSD and most of all, how each step of the way led to my body posivity. GO PREORDER IT NOW! The link is in my bio. It would mean the world. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. #ScarredNotScared #AmIUgly
MASSIVE ANNOUNCEMENT ON MY YOUTUBE TOMORROW I’ve been keeping a secret for the last 3 years and been working on something behind closed doors and tomorrow I can finally tell you! It’s an emotional video and the most important video I’ve ever filmed - loads and loads of tears. You know how I talk about the fact that then I cry, I ball... well you see it in reality in this video. I thought about refilming it and editing it out but realistically, this is what happens when your dream from when you were 13 years old comes true. It’ll be announced on my YouTube tomorrow at 4pm UK time so click the link in my bio to subscribe and be the first one to know. I’m so excited 😆 SO SO EXCITED! Go subscribe!! The link in my bio will be changing permanently after tomorrow so go hit subscribe now.
Sometimes the inspirational aren’t always inspirational. Sometimes the brave aren’t always brave. Sometimes the kind aren’t always kind. Sometimes the strong aren’t always strong. Sometimes the fighter can’t fight. And yet those moments, don’t make us any less. #ScarredNotScared 💄: @levijadetaylor
Just saying. 👀 xxx
“You just made me realise body positivity isn’t just about bikinis. It’s about what the bikini symbolises” Someone said this to me last week. So thought I’d just emphasise this point and equip you with tools in a doctors office by laying down some facts courtesy of Healthy At Every Size by Linda Bacon (which is the book we are reading in the body positive book club this month). 💎 On average, “overweight” people live longer than “normal” weight people 💎 No study has ever shown that weight loss prolongs life 💎 Biology dictates that most people regain the weight they lose, even if they continue their diet/exercise programme 💎 People who regularly exercise are only 5-10 lbs lighter than those who are sedentary 💎Women actually gain weight and body fat with exercise 💎 Active people are much healthier than sedentary ones, REGARDLESS OF WEIGHT 💎 The same bowl of pasta trikes a different number of calories for each eater due to difference in microbes in your gut 💎 Large people eat no more than lean people, despite a popular misconception that large people consistently overeat 💎Exercising and eating more is a better defence against heart disease deaths than exercising and eating less 💎 In a study of 10,000 people, eating less did not necessarily make people thinner and eating more did not necessarily translate to heavier weight So next time a doctor body shames you, shove these facts down their throat and the next time, I hear someone accuse a body positive person of glorifying obesity, I’m going to chuck this book at their head 📖 👨🏻⚕️ #ScarredNotScared
WHEN A BRAND FUCKS UP: NEW YOUTUBE VIDEO We live in a culture where we are quick to label someone as trash when they fuck up. It takes one mistake and an influencer or activist is “cancelled”. But if we treat others that way, it will mean we are more unforgiving with ourselves. If we only give one chance to people to get it right, people become too afraid to try. The risk of failure and being dragged is too high and it doesn’t lead to better activists, it just leads to less activists. I want to talk about it because it is happening to activists and brands more and more in body positivity. No, I have not fucked up recently but that’s not because I’m perfect, it’s because I’m lucky. I’m lucky that when I was making the bulk of my mistakes, I didn’t have a massive crowd to judge me for it. Link is in the bio of you want to hear what I think the solution is and want to hear about one of the many near misses I caught, that you lot never found out about because I had the good fortune of seeing it the second before it was released ❤️ PS please watch the video before commenting
I found this photo when I was doing the slides for TedX. I forgot that this photo existed and for a long time, I always thought I never had photos from my time in hospital when I was 11. The only reason this photo exists is because of that dog. This was the first time I had smiled in months. I found it in a PowerPoint I had made when I was 17 for an English project. I remember it now. It was the first time I talked about my surgeries. So what happened between 17 and 24 that made me forget these photos existed? PTSD. When I found it, I couldn’t stop crying. This is why I kept crying giving my talk. Even on the actual TedX stage, I had a screen in front of me to show my slides and when I looked down, I began to tear. I had come out of an emergency surgery where everything had gone wrong and mistakes had been made. My mum was told to sign a form in case I died and my dad was told to fly over “just in case”. I’m not the only little girl who has lived through this. So we need to talk about it. What hurts more than the physical pain was having to deal with other people’s emotions. Mainly the pity. This girl didn’t need your pity. This girl didn’t need your sympathy. She needed empathy but for those who’ve never lived through it, that’s next to impossible. To ask that of my 11 year old friends, WAS impossible, especially when adults weren't showing the way. So what’s the solution? To listen. To ask questions. To ask if there is anything she wants to talk about. To ask if there is anything you can do to make life a bit easier. Or sometimes, the solution was simply to talk about what’s going on in your life so she didn’t have to think about her life. Let her be angry. Let her be sad. Let her have all her emotions + please don’t put her on the pedestal of being a “survivor” or “success story” too young. These conversations are hard but these little kids in hospital battling their bodies everyday deserve to have people who work through the hard. Be courageous enough to be uncomfortable in these conversations. Don’t avoid the ill people in your life cause you don’t know what to say. Just say something. And for god’s sake, no one needs your pity. #ScarredNotScared
I’m having a moment where I’m really thankful and grateful for the people in my life. The weekend wouldn’t have been as fab as it was if I didn’t have my people cheering (and crying) in the audience! It’s no fun winning when you win alone. Thank you every single person who sent me positive good luck messages, kept me in their thoughts and especially those who turned up in person. @amalielee , @c.kirk , @cmashphotography , @annahogarty and Theo, you are all such gems 💎 Thank your people below 👇🏽👇🏽
Saturday was one of the best days of my life and I’m still so busy processing it. I actually am not sure how I pulled it off and I can’t wait to share with you the video from the day! It will be out in around a month. I’ve had so many questions about how it went so decided to film a quick chatty video just telling you all about it from what my secret tips are, to how I messed up my own mic as I was introduced to how I overcame my fear of public speaking to get to this point. Click the link in the bio to watch and whilst you are there, hit subscribe. My secret project is going to be revealed this time next week and it will be announced on my youtube first so make sure you are subscribed! Also because the link in my bio will no longer direct to my YouTube channel after next Monday... it will go to my new project! ❤️ #tedxcoventgardenwomen #tedxcgw #ScarredNotScared
Right now, it really feels like all the hard work I’ve put in to sort through my emotional shit, has paid off beyond belief. I’m still pretty astounded by how I managed to pull that TedX off! Life is pretty cool right now ❤️ #ScarredNotScared