This is the Mondayist Friday ever. Some days, I just want to ball up my fist and clock cancer right between the eyeballs. We’ve hit a bump in our #BucketListFucketList road trip. We flew back home to Ontario Canada, in a bit of a medical emergency. Is that like being kinda pregnant? I dunno. Michael has had severe, worsening back pain. He has been in bed for what feels like f.o.r.e.v.e.r. I've seen jello move faster, but don’t tell him I said that. Basically, all kinds of little stuff has been adding up to some big stuff. Michaels oncologist had bloodwork, X-rays and MRIs booked within hours. She is one beautiful soul, that oncologist. Michael is dosed up on some much needed pain medication *insert small happy dance for him* and is scheduled for a brain and spine MRI on Sunday. So far, the X-ray results show back issues, but no tumours or lesions. YAY for small (big) miracles. They say when times are tough, lean into others. So here we are. Leaning into you. It’s been a bit of a rough go. I feel responsible to not be really really sad around others. My kids included. They get a good dose of what cancer is all about. I’m gobsmacked how they carry us through these hard times. It’s crazy how a bright light can shine in the darkness. Every 8 minutes - cancer picks a fight with a person. To others going through this cancer journey, to the ‘cancierge’ care givers, loved ones, family, friends… may we all be kindred spirits in this undesirable club. Cancer has its own bat, ball and rules BUT WE HAVE EACH OTHER. Live boldly. Just live. Shining a love light to each and every one of you.
THANK YOU to our amazing kiddos for coming to Arizona and joining us on our airstream #BucketListFucketList road trip over the holidays. . This year, we decided to celebrate with PRESENCE instead of presents. . It was such a fab fab fab time with the fam jam. . We love you to the moon and back again. You are all kinds of epic and we are honored to be your Mom and Dad. . Ps. Where’d that snake go? 😂 . Ps.s. LIKE if you got socks for Christmas 🙌🏻
This time of year. So beautiful. So tough. So many emotions. Didja know that we are on a #bucketlistfucketlist road trip?! Because, hello cancer. Pffffft. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What is being surrounded by cancer, reallllly like? It is like watching your beautiful life moments happening right before your eyes, while trying to grasp little pieces of those moments. And you hang on for dear life. We have good days and bad days. I suppose that’s okay, just as long as we kept having days. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 2 years ago, Michaels non Hodgkins lymphoma transformed into a more dangerous, terminal cancer called Leptomeningeal Metastasis. It’s the kind of cancer where most people live weeks to months. Yet. Just yet. Miraculously, here we are. We have four of theeeeee most beautiful kids of life. It is such an honour to be their Mom and Dad. It’s a love story we never want to come to an end. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What are our days like? During the day, Michael looks like a regular guy. It LOOKS like we have slogged our way out of the cancer swamp and are living la vida loca on the beach of good health, with little umbrella drinks in our hands. Like everything in social media, we all share our highlight reel, don’t we? Truth is, behind the scenes, it is so much harder than that. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ The reality is that Michael twitches/ jerks/ moves 100-300 times PER HOUR while sleeping. I struggle to just WRITE those words. These movements are happening because of the cancer cells on his brain stem. I can’t even. No words. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ There are days that we just bury our heads in the sand and pretend it isn't there. Like, if we can’t physically see it by day- it won't hurt us. ‘Slay that dragon’ is our attitude...but then ...the quiet of the night comes and I lie awake watching Michael move.move.move. It’s unnerving. I quietly cry because I’m scared to the core. I feel like a knob saying it out loud, but it is my truth. It’s like having a front row seat to love and heartbreak all at once. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Okay this just got way too serious. Butt! Boob! Toot! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Thoughts? Besides deleting me from Instagram? ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What tricks do you have for calming the hell down and getting through the tough times? xo
The cactus 🌵in Arizona are soooo pretty! They're like a sensuous, gorgeously formed, moderately slutty, floozy of beauty with a prickly attitude. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Oh, and I love them. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Have you been to Arizona? It's like WHOA!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Where's your fave place to travel ? Does it have prickly flooziness? 😂
🌵Arizona 🌵 is so serene. Minus the 359863647 snakes around me. Okay. That was in my head. Still. Totally counts. . Do you legit think there may be snakes here? . Shut. Up. I don’t want to know. . PS. I haven’t brushed my hair in 4 days. I didn’t want to show it off and make you feel all jealous. . .
Truth bomb here: I’ve been curious about wanderlust road tripping for yearssss now. .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Like. Years. Possibly 2375489574 dog years. . Years. .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Technically, I was scared about the open road. But intrigued! But intimidated. But interested! But skeptical. But fascinated! But leery. But doing it. Like, right now. .⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Is it easy? Nope. Is it awesome? Yes! . Writing a blog post about it right now, while inhaling a cuppa java. GULP. . Whatcha up to? Where are you? Whatcha think of RV life? . Tell me. I need these details to know if I’m the only weirdo out there who likes living in a house on wheels that is the size of a postage stamp. 😂
See that blanket up there? ^^ It’s a beaut. If you've never visited my blog, today should be your first. There’s a FREE chunky wool blanket pattern for a limited time
I hate a comfy bed. Said no one ever. . Guys, if you have been following along on our airstream travels/ insta stories.. you may know that we started with 2 twin beds and then converted to a California King. Holy Batman. . Best. Decision. Ever. . When we discovered that a king mattress would fit in the space, we had the twin beds out in a hot minute. . We are, legit, sleeping in the best sheets we’ve ever had which goes well with the best bed we’ve ever had. Michaels leptomeningeal metastasis cancer causes him to move like a lightening bolt/ twitch about 5-10 times per minute when he is sleeping! Cray, right?!! It’s hard to sleep through that. A shittayyyy sleep? Ain’t nobody got time for that. . Thank you to the moon and back @whiteterryhome and @casper for making such a difference in our sleepy lives. You are game changers of awesome. . Hitting the snooze button on the daily and celebrating. . Friday called. She’s coming tomorrow and she’s bringing wine. . Let’s put it this way. Certain alcohol has beneficial antioxidants and we like to fight cancer sometimes. . #BucketListFucketList . PS. You can shop it all by clicking the link in my bio and popping over to my blog. . PS.S. I love you.
Happy Thanksgiving from the airstream! . We had our Canadian Thanksgiving weeks ago...and I still have my food baby. . Going for it again, except this time, we are parked in Destin Florida. . I like this Thanksgiving TWICE thing. . Does a double food baby mean that I am having twins? 🙈 . ps. Where are you today? Celebrating Thanksgiving or in snowy Canada? ❄️⛄️❄️
I vote vacation. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Because living in the snow belt of Canada makes my face slightly resemble this-> ?!!??!! Following along on my @instagram stories? It’s a bunch of airstream shenanigans and willy wonka crazy pants. I hope you hop the crazy train and follow along with me in the stories. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Here’s what I’ve learned so far on our road trip journey... ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Expect nothing. Appreciate everything. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ And pack extra undies. Because you may poop your pants in a tornado scare. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
First giveaway of the seeeeeeeason! 🎄(!!!!! insert all the holiday emojis here haha !!!!)🎄!!!! Woot woot!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ I teamed up with @crateandbarrelcanada to share my 10 fave holiday decor tips in the Treehouse Retreat! (link in bio!) ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ We're giving away 2 x $500 shop cards!!! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Total contest value = $1000
I’m being lazy in this pic. It’s like normal lazy, but I’m wearing a cape.